The Kauenhofen Three!

See if anybody notices...

2012-01-20T19:22:00.001-06:00

I made a small little change on this blog. I'll see if anybody notices. Feel free to comment if you notice. If you just can't figure it out, just go to my private blog, if you have access. If you don't, keep searching!

New Blog Address

2012-01-06T12:28:00.003-06:00

In case anyone needs it, the new blog address is kauenhofenprivate.blogspot.com

New Blog

2012-01-04T09:24:00.003-06:00

One thing I forgot to mention on my last post was if you'd like to be invited to my private blog, I'll need your email address. If you have more than one address, please send me the address that you would like the invite sent to.

Going Private

2012-01-03T10:06:00.005-06:00

Happy New Year everyone! Hope you all had a great Christmas and a good New Year! Our Christmas was very good.

I've decided I want my blog to go private. I have created a new blog for that purpose. I decided this because as our second adoption gets closer, there may be things I'll want to post about that I won't want the whole world to see. For those of you that I know have been following my blog, I'll send an invite to my private blog. I will be sending invites to my private blog hopefully soon (haven't actually posted anything there yet). I don't know if I'll remember everyone. If you would like an invite to my private blog please send me an email or post a comment on this blog. My email address is on the right hand side of this blog. If I know you or know something about you, I'll probably send you an invite. If I don't know you at all, chances are I won't send an invite. Hope that's fair. I would like to make my private blog available to friends, family, and adoptive families who I've met in person or online.

Now hopefully I can get that new blog going soon...

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-19T18:56:00.008-06:00

I can't believe it's been two months since I last posted! Wow, this fall has flown by! It's just been busy, busy, busy! I don't know how many times I've sat down at the computer and started a post, but didn't have time to finish it. It might be due to the fact that I went back to work full time in October. It's been a big adjustment.... particularly for Kumera, because he's never really been to a sitter (other than my mom) and never for full days. But it's going pretty good. Mine and Wayne's hours work out so that Kumera only has to be at a sitter about 19 hours per week, rather than 40. I'm quite happy about that.

I figured I should try to at least post a little something yet before the year is over. So, here's a photo I took of Kumera with his new nativity set. I've been looking for an inexpensive, child-friendly nativity set for some time already. I have a beautiful nativity set, but the figurines are all breakable porcelain. I decided that if I want Kumera to learn about the real Christmas story, then he should have the chance to set up a nativity set himself (without breaking it). And also have the freedom to rearrange it and play with it as he wishes. I wanted to get him that adorable Fisher Price nativity set from the Sears catalogue, but it's $50.00, plus it's geared for babies and toddlers and he'd probably outgrow it soon. So, I found this one at Superstore for half price! It was $8.00! The peices are all wood. Unbreakable! He was thrilled about it! He set it up all by himself and was very proud of himself. Notice how he laid baby Jesus down flat instead standing it up. I tried standing it up and he said no, he's sleeping, he has to lie down! Another concern he had was that there were no shepherds. It's hard to find a nativity set that has all the characters. But at least my son knows his Christmas story!

So, there's my post! I finally managed to squeeze one in!

Have a very Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!

3 year mark

2011-10-13T10:47:00.004-05:00

5 days ago we hit the three year mark! I wasn't going to post about it because there's not much to say. But today I decided to post about it anyway, if for no other reason than to just acknowledge the fact it's been three years. Three years ago, when we applied for our second adoption, we thought that in three years we'd be very close to bringing our daughter home. Guess we were wrong. We're at #41 on the list and have been in this place since July. There have been very few referrals lately.

I think the wisest thing for us to do is stop trying to predict when it will happen. Some days I can do this, but other days it's just natural instinct to try to calculate by when it should "for sure" happen. One thing I should have learned by now is that there are no "for sure's" in adoption.

One thing I am thankful for is that we applied as soon as we did after our first adoption. At the time it felt too soon, only because we'd only been home with Kumera 6 months and he was only a year old. People around us thought too, it was too soon and asked how we would manage if we got another little one right away. But my head told me we needed to apply asap if we wanted another one, and that we needn't worry about having two kids so very young, because there was no way that would happen anyway. But people around us didn't believe me and said "Well, you never know... You'll probably end up with another baby before you know it, because now that you've adopted once, the second time will go much faster!" Wrongo! I try to explain that this "second-time-round going-faster" business only happens with CFS domestic adoptions, but they look at me like I don't know what I'm talking about. So, whatever. I know how it works. I guess time will tell how long it will take. Time already has shown it will not go faster the second time around.

So, in the meantime, I try not to think about it too much. I learned my lesson from the first time. I put all my energy into waiting to become a parent and it nearly killed me. Now I'm just thankful we have a child to enjoy.

Meeting our sponsor child's sister

2011-10-05T07:52:00.019-05:00

In 2008 we travelled to Uganda to visit our sponsor child, Joseph. He was in the African Children's Choir in 2005. When we visited Joseph we got to meet his whole family. Some time after we came home, we found out from the organization that 2 of his siblings were in need of sponsors. My mother-in-law and her neighbor decided to each sponsor one of them. My mother-in-law has been sponsoring little Grace now for 3.5 years and we found out this spring that Grace auditioned and made it into the African Children's Choir! She began touring the US in July. We were so excited that she made it into the choir and we prayed that the choir would come our way so we would get to see her. I contacted the Canadian office and asked where they would all be touring. They told us they would only be touring the west coast and they wouldn't be coming our way at all. I was so disappointed, but I didn't give up. I checked their tour schedule on their website regularly. I kept hoping that they would somehow end up coming our way. Then one day I saw they were coming to Minot, ND! I looked at the map and figured hey, we can make that drive. That's only about 4.5 hours away. I know how special it is for a sponsor child and sponsor to meet face to face, because sponsorship is suddenly not just a photo anymore. It's a relationship with a real person and letters mean so much more. I looked at the tour schedule and couldn't believe they were actually coming our way, so I contacted the office again, to make sure this was actually Grace's choir that was coming this way. They replied saying "No, that's a different choir. Grace's choir is only touring the west coast." I still didn't want to give up and replied saying "Are you sure? Can you please check with someone?" She said "I believe that's not Grace's choir, but I'll check with the tour manager." The tour manager emailed me and said "Yes, that is Grace's choir!" I just about jumped for joy!! I was so excited that we could get to see her! I called up my mother-in-law and asked "Would you like to meet Grace?" And of course she said yes, and was extremely excited about the possibility. She said I made her day!

So, I began looking for a hotel room in Minot, since it would be too long of a trip to make in one day, plus we needed to get there by 9:30am to see their Sunday morning concert. I had absolutely no luck. Every single hotel in Minot was booked solid! I began searching neighboring towns, and still every place was booked. I tried B & B's and they too were booked. I started asking questions about why everything was booked. It was due to flooding and also the oil rush, I was told. Every hotel had been booked solid for months already. There was no chance of getting a room anywhere near Minot for a long time yet. The closest we would get would be at least 3 hours away. What would be the point of that? We live 4.5 hours away! I was crushed! Grace was coming so close and we wouldn't get to see her. But I still didn't give up. I kept searching every neighboring town I could possibly find, for a room. Finally I found one in Rugby, ND which is only 1 hour away from Minot. They had only a couple of rooms left. I was thrilled! I booked one room for the three of us and another room for my mother-in-law. We would get to see Grace after all!

So, on October 1st, the four of us made the trip out to Rugby and stayed the night. The hotel clerk told us they've been booked solid for months and there's no chance of getting a room there for a long time yet and that we were very luck to have gotten a room when we did. I felt, wow, God really saw to it that we should see Grace. We stayed the night and headed out to Minot the next morning.

The choir had two morning concerts and we arrived at the tail end of the first concert. We were standing in the foyer when the concert ended and they kids came running down the aisle and into the foyer. The kids were giving high fives to numerous people as they ran past. We were standing very close to them and I spotted Grace and said "Hi Grace!" and she gave me a high five. She stopped for a moment and looked at us, like she thought she knew us and then ran off with the choir. She probably wondered how I knew her name.

While we waited for the second concert to begin, we met with the choir chaperones in the foyer. We had been in touch with them previously and they knew we were coming to see Grace , but they hadn't told Grace. They wanted it to be a surprise. We talked for quite a while with one of the African chaperones and he knew our sponsor child's family quite well. He updated us on how well Joseph is doing and how tall he is getting. We also asked about some of the other chior kids we've hosted in the past and he updated us on them as well. The choir chaperones sure showed their appreciation for us and thanked us for supporting them and then they invited us to stay for lunch so we could visit with Grace for a while. We were so thrilled! We felt honoured!

At first the chaperones were going to take us back stage before the concert so we could meet Grace briefly, but that didn't work out, because of the kid's schedule. We sat in the first row for the second concert so we could get some good pictures. When they kids came on stage, Grace looked at us right away. I think she was beginning to figure out who we were. Then she didnt' take her eyes off of us for just about the entire concert. It looked like she could hardly concentrate. At this point, I wasn't sure if she had been told about us being there or not, but it sure looked at though she recognized us. I know she had seen pictures of us.

Here's a few pictures from the concert. Grace had a number of solo parts, so you see her with the microphone quite a bit.

After the concert we waited and waited in the foyer for the chaperone to come get us and meet Grace. Finally, when just about everyone had gone home, the African chaperone and Grace came walking out to us. Wayne, his mom and Kumera were waiting around the corner and I had been wandering around chatting with some people, so they came to me first. When I saw Grace she was smiling from ear to ear! I bent down and gave her the biggest hug! I knelt down to her, took her hand and asked her if she would like to meet her sponsor. She said "Yes, auntie!" Then we walked around the corner and Grace and my mother-in-law met for the very first time. I'm not sure who was more thrilled about meeting each other... Grace, or my mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law wanted to give her lots of gifts, but they really don't have room for a lot of gifts, plus they want to keep it fair for all the kids. But she did give her a small envelope with a few stickers, a bracelet, a pencil and a pair of socks. Grace seemed thrilled. Her big smile never left her face!

And finally, here we're sitting with her at lunch time, visiting.

Grace and Kumera together.
3.5 years ago, I never imagined seeing this.

She actually remembers us visiting her home 3.5 years ago. I asked her what she remembered about that visit. I expected her to say something about the suitcase full of gifts we brought, because I remember the family being very overwhelmed about that. But that's not what she said she remembered. She remembered me being shown the back room of their tiny 2 room home. The tiny room, which was very dark with the only source of light being the daylight shining through the cracks in the walls, had personal belongings piled up in the corners and the only furniture was two beds. There was hardly any room to maneuver in the room. One bed looked like a double and the other looked like a single. I quickly calculated in my head how this had to work. There were 9 people in this household... and two beds ... in very cramped conditions. I came out of the room very sobered from what I saw. Grace remembers this. She was four years old. Kumera is now four years old. It's hard for me to wrap my head around all of that.

Here are a few photos from that visit in 2008.

Grace standing in front of her home.

Us with the whole family in front of the home. Joseph is the one in the gray shirt holding the kite and Grace is in the red shirt.

Grace, just 4 years old. Isn't she a doll?

I feel so blessed to have this family in our life. They have opened our eyes and have taught us so much. I'm so glad that God opened the doors for us to see Grace this weekend, when we were told it wouldn't be possible. I truly believe God's hand has been in this relationship, right from the start, including the very first time we met Joseph when we hosted him in our home. That wasnt' supposed to work out either, but it did. Our trip to Uganda looked like it was going to fall through, but it didn't. Meeting Grace wasn't supposed to work out, but it did. And I am hopeful that we'll travel to Uganda again and visit this family at least one more time. God is so good!

Child sponsorship with the African Children's Choir is truly amazing! These kids lives are turned around! The African chaperone that we talked with spoke about how the kids become so healthy, happy and confident after they join the program. He sees how their lives are changed. Teaching the kids the gospel about Jesus Christ is also a main priority for them. And I've seen this in the past choir children who are now grown up and touring with the choir as chaperones. Living for God is their goal. I would recommend child sponsorship with this organization to anyone! They are truly an amazing organization!

To learn more visit their website: http://africanchildrenschoir.com/

New Living Room

2011-09-26T18:53:00.012-05:00

So, we finally have our living room furniture! We ordered it in mid July and they said it would take 6 weeks to get it. Well, it took 8 weeks! We thought that would give us lots of time to sell our old couch and chair. Well, wouldn't you know it, the very same day we ordered the new furniture, the old stuff sold! So we were without decent living room furniture for 2 months!

Here are some before and after pictures.

Before:

After:

Before:

We tore out the wall of spindles and the archway wall.

After:

We had to put in support beams and a post to replace the old supporting walls.

When we went to pick out our new couch we chose a beautiful red colour. We ordered from a new custom order program at the Brick called Choices. You choose your couch style, and your fabric and then your colour. The fabric swatch we picked was a gorgeous deep red and it match the circles on the accent pillows perfectly. I was so excited about the beautiful deep red that we'd be getting. But when it arrived it looked like this:

It looked PINK!

It was supposed to be a dark red like in the area rug and like on the circles on this pillow:

I was shocked at how off the colour was. Everything else about it looked right. Right couch style, right fabric, and there was only one red colour to choose from, so I was sure the order was right, but I didn't remember the red being so light. So, the next day I got on the phone with the sales rep and told her that the colour seemed off. We had specifically borrowed an accent pillow ahead of time, so we could shop around for the perfect area rug. The rug and the accent pillows looked awesome together, so we had been sure that the couch would work too. She was positive that they didn't make a mistake and that order was correct. Well, I told her I would still like to compare the fabric swatch to our couch, because I was sure the fabric swatch was a darker red. She said that would be fine. So I took a couch cushion to the store and compared to the fabric swatch and sure enough, our couch was noticeably lighter than the fabric swatch. I was sure they would make us keep it because it's a custom order and they told us ahead of time that we can't return a custom order. She offered us different accent pillows that might match better. But I said we'd still have to return the area rug. I told her I loved the accent pillows we chose and was thrilled with the area rug. They looked like the perfect match. I didn't know what to do. I told her that I wished we could rather have the tan couch set. It would work way better than this pinkish set. Then we could keep the accent pillows and the area rug. Then she said "Hang on a minute" and she disappeared into her office. She came back and said "You can have this set in the tan colour, and we just happen to have a set in stock in our Winnipeg warehouse". YAY!!! I was thrilled! Thank goodness I didn't have to keep that pink set and return everything that was supposed to match it. And we didn't have to reorder it and wait another 8 weeks! So, a few days later they came to our house and made the exchange. Whew! What a relief! It's a bit of a disappointment that I didn't get that beautiful red couch I was hoping for, but at least we have something that works now. Now I just want to order the accent chair in the same fabric as the accent pillows! It would look so great in our living room! I just have to convince my other half!

And here's another item I bought to match the set. I found this in the US. It matched the rug and accent pillows perfectly too, so this too would've also been a waste of money if we would've had to keep the pink set. I plan to hang this above the tv.

So now.... window coverings! And then everything is done!

What to blog about??

2011-09-13T11:20:00.013-05:00

I haven't posted for quite some time, mostly because I don't really know what to blog about these days. This blog was somewhat intended to record the progress of of second adoption, but as long as we're just sitting and waiting for a referral, there's not a whole lot to report.

We are getting monthly updates from CAFAC and right now we're at 42 on the waiting list. There was only one referral last month and that went to a family behind us on the list....probably because they asked for a child older than everyone else on the list. I was telling someone about this the other day and they asked why the agency wouldn't ask us first if we'd like to adopt that child instead of giving that child to a family behind us on the list. I explained that it doesn't work that way. The agency has to stick within the age requested in the homestudy (which for us is under 3 years). They cannot propose a child over that age to us. Even if they would, the province would reject the referral before we even see it. I've explained some of these things over and over to some people and they just don't seem to get it. Some days I wonder why they even ask me to explain the process. They're not listening anyway, because they ask the same thing the next time I see them.

So, we've been at spot 42 for two months now. The previous month we were at spot 47. So, things are still moving, but very slowly. A few days ago we hit the 2.5 year mark since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia, and next month it will be 3 years since we began the process. Sigh... how much longer?

Someone else said to me the other day "So, there's no news on a little sister for Kumera is there? That's all thrown by the wayside, isn't it?" First of all no, there's no news. And secondly no, it has not been thrown by the wayside. If you're thinking that we're no longer adopting, that's untrue. We're still on the waiting list! It's taking long, yes, but we are still hopeful that it will happen. The only way it's not going to happen is if the program shuts down. We're not taking our names off the list or anything. This makes me wonder how many more people think that we're no longer adopting.

In other news, Kumera began his second year of preschool today. He was very excited to go.

All ready to go to preschool:

In front of his preschool, the Kiddie Sunsine Center:

Some shopping and stuff...

2011-08-18T12:03:00.014-05:00

Seems this summer has been so busy and I haven't had time to post much lately or read many blogs either. We went to the CAFAC BBQ weekend in Minnedosa and we had a great time. Weather was great. The B & B was awesome! But seeing all the little girls at the BBQ, especially all those that have come home recently, made me so much more anxious for our future daughter. I was good till now. But seeing so many new ones made me very anxious.

We went to the US for a little holiday and some shopping. I found some great stuff for our house. I'm completely redecorating since we've renovated. I had to share one thing that I found. When I saw it I thought it was so perfect for us and our adoption. And the colours match my walls perfectly.

So, when I have days when I'm really impatiently waiting for a daughter, maybe this will remind me of who's in control.

I bought something else which I just couldn't resist any longer. But I won't share a picture of it just yet. I bought a little girl's bedding set!!!! I'm so excited! I've been itching to do this for so long already. Long ago already I had a set all picked out from the Sears catalogue and was just waiting for the day to order it. But it was quite expensive so I held back, plus I figured it was too soon. In the US I searched a few places for similar bedding sets and came across one at Kohl's. It looked similar to the one at Sears and was just as cute. It included 6 matching peices... the comforter, sham, pillowcase, flat sheet, fitted sheet, and matching bedskirt on sale for $59.99! Regular price was $129.00. Wow! The one at Sears only had two pieces... the comforter and sham for $130.00, plus if I would've ordered all the other matching peices it would've probably come to $300.00! I didn't buy the one at Kohl's right away because I wanted to check a few other places. The next day I decided to go back to Kohl's to look at that one again and decided .... Yup, I better buy it now or I'll end up getting that expensive one from Sears. I took it to the counter to pay for it to find out it was an ADDITIONAL 50% OFF!!! It was only $30.00!!!! Wow, am I glad I bought it!! I love finding bargains like that! Now I can't wait to get our little girl's room started!

Inspiring Adoption Story

2011-08-17T17:34:00.007-05:00

I get email newsletters from a Christian family magazine and this article was in the newsletter this month. It's a long read, but so inspiring. It goes to show that God creates families the way He sees fit, regardless of any redtape or politics. It gives us adoptive families a little bit of hope...

........................................................................................

Bonnie Walker, is a mother 26 children, 22 of whom are adopted, plus one more foster child which they are waiting on the paper work for final adoption!

Bonnie's vision is that every child in America receive a "forever family" and that the foster care system as we know it will be done away with. Her testimony is written as a prayer to the Lord.

To God, From Your Servant at Refuge Ranch

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Hello Father,

Well, on April 8th, You did it again! And I sound like the court official responding to our lawyer. When our lawyer said that she was there representing the Walkers for an adoption, the court official exclaimed, "Again?" Yes, again! One more time we finalized the adoption on four more little Walkers! One more time, we get to be called mama and daddy forever. One more time, four more children get the security of knowing that someone loves them enough to say, "I love you forever." "Adoption!" Such a precious word backed up by an eternity of Love! Abba, thank You for giving us Your heart about adoption. At 53, adopting a sibling group of four little ones, ages 3, 8, 10 and 11, [plus planning to adopt their baby brother, age 18 months, as soon as paperwork is completed] definitely wasn't on my agenda for my life, but I'm so glad that is was on Yours!

I have longed to tell their story, Your story, of their lives. So finally with new names and new birth certificates on the way, You can receive the Glory and Honor that's due you for Your miraculous workings.

Oh Father, where do I even begin? I guess at the beginning would be the best place. I remember 2005, Billy and I had semi-retired. The only reason that we wouldn't say we're finished is because You had given me a Scripture several times that there were yet seven to inherit the land. At this point in my life, I was open to having misunderstood You about exactly what that meant. No longer baby crazy, and somewhat weary, retirement seemed the way the wind was blowing. Oh how You must have laughed!

October 2008 I am teaching Worshipping Warriors (children's church) and in walk these two adorable little boys, Noah (8) and Daniel (6) who had just been placed in foster care for the 2nd time. My heart went out to these two little fellas and I began to shower them with love. But even I did not know that You had just introduced me to two of my new sons!

In December, the boys were returned to the biological parents. I missed them, was mad at the system that would return helpless children to such an environment, but resigned myself that there was nothing I could do. Then the first week in January, they were back in foster care and attending church again. Or at least they were sort of back! It took me the whole class period to coax just a partial smile out of Daniel. Both the boys were extremely traumatized and I wanted to choke the bureaucratic monster that allowed precious children to be so repeatedly mistreated!

Father, I remember that day so well! I had been fighting back tears all the way through class. Afterwards, I managed to get in the van before I burst into tears! Billy, not having any idea what had been going on asked, "What is it?" I blurted out, "I want those boys!" Then I explained how hurt and damaged they were and I couldn't stop crying. Noah and Daniel already had issues and behavioral struggles previously, but now everything was compounded several times over!

In March 2009, You added another piece to the puzzle. Older sister, sweet Menorah (9), was also placed in foster care and she too became very attached to me. Every service at church when the children were dismissed for children's church, I'd leave out of the sanctuary with Menorah under one arm and Noah under the other arm. I loved them so much, but still didn't know what You had planned. It's funny now, looking back. In my semi-retired state, I was very slow to read the writing on the wall. Usually, I always know way ahead of time when You're sending children! Not this time!

The boys continued to struggle emotionally. I didn't find out until later that Noah's biggest problem was going to parental visits, sitting in a room, roughly 8 x 10 foot in size, with the man that used to beat him sitting in the same room! Father, I just don't get it! No one would make an adult repeatedly stay in that close proximity with their abuser, yet our system requires it of a innocent child! Something is wrong with that equation! Something is very wrong!

Summer came and VBS arrived. One day while we were playing games outside, Menorah came over and sat with me. She looked at me and said, "I wish I could live at your house!" Even this I down played, assuring her that she probably wouldn't like it because my children have to work. She replied, "I'll work!" It still hadn't hit me, even then, what You were up to, Father. But I'm so thankful that Holy Spirit didn't stop talking!

In September of 2009, after class Noah walked up to me, wrapped his arms around my waist, looked up in my face and said, "I wish you were my mama!" My heart skipped a beat! Lord, what are You doing? By October, there was talk of removing Noah from the foster home and placing him in a children's group home. His behavior was progressively deteriorating and the foster mom couldn't handle any more. I immediately asked Billy if we could we get him, so at least he'd be close to his other siblings and get to see them at church. One of our passions has always been to keep siblings together as much as possible. This was possible! I called DFCS and put in our request. We began to get the usual runaround. Are you licensed? No, you have too many children under the age of 16, and the list went on and on. I was not deterred! I had been around, over, and through that bureaucratic mountain on more than one occasion. I have seen You work so many amazing miracles on behalf of children that no red tape was going to stop me from saving that precious little boy!

Well, the devil ain't no dummy. He saw Noah was about to be rescued, and he reared his ugly head. The next day, Noah had a melt down at school. He got upset and pitched a fit. Now, Lord, I know something needed doing, but I strongly disagree with what was done. The school called the police or DFCS. I've never been clear on who called whom, but the result was that an eight year old, terrified little boy was put in the back seat of a police car, and taken to DFCS! DFCS called the foster mom to bring his things and he was immediately transported to a children's group home one and a half hours away! He wasn't even allowed to say goodbye to his siblings!

You talk about a mad mama tiger, but I was furious and determined! I called DFCS the next morning and told them we'd do whatever it took to get Noah. Everyone was saying that it couldn't be done! I wrote in my journal to You, "Show them what You can do!" I cried, prayed, and could hardly sleep. I called everyone from here to the governor's mansion, and the whole time I kept seeing Noah's precious little face, afraid and crying.
Three days later, I had my word from You and confirmation! You let me know that You were on the way to help. Then you gave me Isaiah 54:2-4 again, telling me to "enlarge my tent." Father, I should have kept a record of the number of times You've used that verse to let me know more children were coming. Through a prophesy You informed me that there was no Plan B. . . that I was Your Plan A for Noah's life. With Joshua 3:5, You said, "Sanctify yourselves. Tomorrow God will work miracle-wonders among you." But still, I was tormented with some doubts and fears.

As I shared these concerns with a friend, they replied, "Bonnie, you have always gone straight into the Heavens, heard from God and not cared what anybody else said, ignoring the natural realm! You can't start operating out of fear and doubts now." Then they shared this revelation about Noah and his siblings that God had given during prayer. Noah in the Bible built an ark (a Refuge) for the saving of not just himself but his family. And that my Noah would pave the way for the other siblings to come to the Ark here at Refuge Ranch! I had no idea at the time how prophetically accurate that word was, but I was about to find out!

Immediately, I put in to go visit Noah, but here again red tape, moving at a snail's pace blocked my path. A frightened little boy was locked away with total strangers in unfamiliar settings, not hearing one familiar voice or seeing one familiar face for 2 ½ weeks, and I couldn't get to him! Father, here again, to an adult that would be horrifying! To a child? I cannot even imagine!

You'd been telling me that You were about to do a new thing (Isaiah 43: 18-19). Well, November 5, 2009, You did! At 11:00 a.m., I received a call from DFCS. The head guy had given permission for me to go see Noah. I said, "That's great!" Then the worker said that they had also given permission for us to adopt Noah. I replied something like, "He did? That's wonderful." Then they replied that there's just one hitch. I asked, "What is that?" The answer was, "It's a package deal. You'll have to take all five." (The birth mom was pregnant and they were anticipating having to remove that infant as well.) I didn't even hesitate! My immediate response was, "Okay!" I've often wondered if they offered us all five children to get me to shut up and quit bugging them. I am nothing if not persistent when one of my children is not safe. It didn't matter to me what their reasons. I was ecstatic! I cried, squealed, laughed and shook my head at Your amazing ways!

Two days later, Noah's CASA workers took me and his siblings to see him! Hallelujah! It was the first time I'd been around Janiah (2), for any length of time, and I'd only held her once. At VBS, Noah had come to me, nearly dragging her, wanting to show off his baby sister. Even at the time, I had a strange thought that he was offering her to me, trying to get me to want her, so I'd want to adopt him. It's so strange that the children knew what You were doing, Father, before I did. But back to the visit day, Janiah started clinging to me. Now Janiah, is very shy, and doesn't go to strangers at all. The CASA workers begin to raise their eyebrows and wonder what You were doing.

When we arrived, Noah's face was priceless! So many mixed emotions--relief, joy, fear, hope and doubt all filtered across his little face as tears filled his eyes. I held him and hugged him so tight, fighting tears myself. But the worst was yet to come! We played and shared gifts that we'd brought, laughed and talked. He shared the horrors of bathing while the older boys in the cottage would put bars of soap in socks and hit him through the shower curtain. He told of the nights of crying and of being so afraid. He was the youngest in the cottage and most of the others were teens with really rough records already.. Fear was his constant companion!

Then came the part that I didn't think I'd live through--the leaving! Noah latched on to me and started begging me not to leave him, to take him with me. Then he looked up at me and said, "You've adopted all those other children. Adopt me, please?" DFCS had not given me permission to let the children know yet what was going on, so all I could do was holler for the CASA worker, who tactfully changed the subject.

Leaving Noah there was harder than leaving Anna and her siblings in Texas when we went to visit them the first time, and I thought that would kill me! But Your grace was sufficient again! Little Daniel wanted me to sit in the back with him as we traveled home. With him on one side and Menorah on the other, I tried valiantly to cheer them up. When I got in my van at Rhine, I went to pieces! I couldn't stop squalling.

One of the things I absolutely hate about DFCS is the predictable slowness at which they work. Lord, You know it's not the caseworker's fault. Most of the ones that I've worked with are just as frustrated as myself with all the bureaucratic red tape and the paperwork that has to be done five times over in triplicate! So here we were again, playing the age old game of "hurry up and wait!" And in the mean time trying to keep a nine year old little boy encouraged to continue hoping when there seemed no hope!
Pregnancies are wearying at times even in the best circumstances. Being pregnant with five and waiting for delivery. . . well, let's just say it's a long wait! But as with natural pregnancies, spiritual pregnancies don't last forever either. The Monday after Christmas, the delivery began! The DFCS worker called and said, "I have a little bit of good news. Are you ready for Noah to come home?" Yes, oh Yes! I started getting everything ready. As she was on her way to the children's home to get Noah's stuff, she called me back with another question. She wanted to know if I had a crib. She said that the baby would be coming that week, because a c-section was scheduled for the next morning. I jumped up and down, squealing with joy. I was so excited and so overcome with Your awesomeness. You had said "a suddenly," and it definitely was!

Late that afternoon, I went to McRae to pick up Noah! The worker handed me a sack. Puzzled I asked, "What's this?" They were Noah's meds. I knew he was medicated, but until then I had no idea just how medicated! Oh well, the Lord would deal with that. I was getting to take my son home at last. It felt so good to say, "Noah, let's go home!" As I lay down that night, I was tired but almost euphoric with happiness.

On December 29th, 2009, Elijah was born. He was having mild withdrawals, but the doctor was ready to release him the next day. We picked him up at one and a half days old from the hospital. I felt like I was dreaming and tears kept coming to my eyes. I kept saying that You are incredible! He is beautiful! Thank You, Lord! Thank You, Lord!

We kept praying over him and by Friday You had delivered him from the withdrawals. Thank You, Lord! I had felt like You gave permission to breastfeed him like I did Gabriel. I was giving about ½ the amount of milk he needed and was supplementing the rest. He was thriving and doing so well. There were times that Satan would try to torment me with doubts of us not getting to keep him, but then You spoke. With Isaiah 65:18-19, You said that there would be "no more sounds of weeping . . . No cries of anguish." You had spoken! Elijah would not leave because I knew there was no way that he could leave without me weeping, and You'd said I wouldn't!

Billy and I have caught a lot of criticism and a lot of kidding because of our ages. Many have wanted to know if we could count! Yes, we still can add 51 and 18. Most people don't start over with a newborn at age 51! Well, we aren't most people.. We're Your people, and we choose to obey You! We know without any doubt that the placement of these children was You and You only, so we are at peace about it and just enjoy the journey. And what a journey it is!

On January 19th, 2010, the other three siblings came home: Menorah (10), Daniel (who turned 7 the next day), and Janiah (2). At last, they were all together. I was so ecstatic, but I rapidly became walking exhaustion for about three months! You had warned me in November 2009, with Isaiah 43: 1-7, "Don't be afraid. . . When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. . . " Most days I definitely felt over my head, but You are always faithful!
My milk for the baby had decreased and I was so tired I couldn't figure out why. My pediatrician explained it to me this way, "Bonnie, you just got three more children! That's enough extra stress to decrease anyone's milk flow. I kept trying to breastfeed Elijah until he was three months old and finally decided to quit. It grieved me, but my doctor had also admonished me to stop trying to do everything myself and to let the teenage girls help. So I did, and I began to get more rest. Billy also began to do something that I still can't hardly believe. He started cooking! His culinary skills have been a huge blessing.

God has worked so many miracles in these children's lives. Noah and Daniel are not taking any medications at all! Praise God! Menorah is so peaceful to have her family complete with a mama and daddy! Janiah is blossoming out of her extreme shyness! And Elijah, for whom life with us is all he's ever known, is the apple of everyone's eye. A few weeks ago, a lady, who had heard about us and wanted to meet me, came for a visit. She works with foster children every day at her job. After visiting with us for a while, she said that she didn't mean to take anything away from me and the work I do, but 'THIS IS GOD!" My spirit rejoiced! That's exactly what I want people to see and say! You are to be glorified Lord, just You!

Lord, there's so much going on with the ministry right now. It seems like the work load is on overload and is never-ending. I am so passionate about wanting to teach others how to minister emotional healing, by the power of Your Blood, to the broken lives of wounded children. You are opening so many doors. Give me the grace to walk through them as You ordain. Father, I don't want to miss You in any way. I am desperate to do Your will! Lead on my Lord! Lead on!

Your willing daughter, Bonnie Walker."

Reno's are done!!!

2011-07-27T15:31:00.013-05:00

After 3 months of mess and inconvenience, our reno's are finally done!!! What a relief that is! Here are some before and after pics of the kitchen.

I love my new pantry. We converted a closet into a pantry. The door you see above is the pantry door and the opening used to be around the corner where the light fixture is, facing into the living room. The closet got used for everything from coats to junk. And it never had a door, so it always looked messy. And the fact that it faced into the living room, made the living room space so much smaller, since we couldn't put any furniture there. So, this makes way more sense and the space is much more useable, plus it makes our living room feel bigger. I think this pantry actually used to be an entrance originally. It had a window in it on the back wall when we moved here, which we closed up years ago. And when we tore out the drywall during this reno, it looked like that space used to be a door.

My new sink is granite and my faucet is oil rubbed bronze, which matches all the other new metal in our house. All the cabinet pulls and all the light fixtures are oil rubbed bronze.

So, what we did was tore out 3 walls and 2 doorways, and put in 2 support beams and a post to support the beams. Two of the walls were supporting walls. Our space feels huge now compared to before. The kitchen, dining room, living room and hallway were all separate rooms before and now it's one big open space. It feels strange, but I'm sure it won't take long to get used to it.

We don't have our new living room furniture yet, so our living room is still in disarray. I'll post pictures of that once the new furniture is in.

Kumera is 4 years old!

2011-07-24T00:08:00.005-05:00

Kumera turned 4 on Friday, July 22! The same day we put our dog down. We didn't want it to work out that way, but it was the only day that worked. So, I couldn't possibly post the previous post without posting something about Kumera's birthday as well. We didn't do a lot for Kumera's birthday, but we did give him his presents. And we also took him to see Cars 2 last weekend and he loved it! That was his first ever theatre experience. He did quite well! He hasn't had a birthday cake yet, because it hasn't worked to have family over yet, so that will likely have to wait till August. Plus I want my house put back together first. Reno's aren't quite done... but it's getting close.

Here he's pictured with his gifts. He got a Buzz Lightyear lifejacket, a Thomas Train puzzle, a Thomas Train fabric toybox, Thomas umbrella, Mater tow truck (from Grandma) and Finn McMissile car. The Finn McMissile car is a new character from Cars 2. He is head over heals over that car. He plays with it from morning till night, plus he sleeps with it. He saw it at Walmart and told us he wanted it, but I didn't know he'd be quite this smitten over it.

Misty 1999-2011

2011-07-23T23:46:00.005-05:00

We lost a member of our little family yesterday. Our dalmatian, Misty. She was 12 years old. We're missing her a lot right now. She had become a part of our family and a big part of our daily routine. It's a big change for us and it's feeling pretty empty right now. But she was growing old very quickly this last while. She was losing her hearing and she was needing more and more attention, so it was just time for her to go. Wayne brought her to the vet and stayed with her till she was gone. He found it pretty hard. I would've gone with too, but we didn't want Kumera to see that, so Kumera and I stayed home. Kumera was just learning the responsibilty of feeding her and scooping up after her, and he was loving it. So, we're all kind of sad right now. I made this little scrap book to remember her. One of her trademarks was her two different coloured eyes. One was brown and one was blue. An uniqueness we loved about her.

Create your own free scrapbook

DVBS

2011-07-14T01:15:00.006-05:00

Kumera is attending DVBS this week and he's loving it! He particularly loves hanging around the big kids. He's the youngest kid there, yet he wants to hang out with the oldest kids... as in, the teenagers! What does that mean? Not sure. Does he think he's more mature than he really is? He's always gravitated towards older kids. He's not intimidated at all by them. And here's another interesting thing he did today at the start of DVBS... the doors were locked until starting time and the kids were to wait outside. When the leaders opened the doors, Kumera... the youngest kid there... held the door open and ushered all the kids by hand, saying "come on everyone, let's go in". Does this kid have some leadership skills or what? He's not even 4 yet!

The lesson today was about respecting and loving others... in particular, siblings. The leader asked the group who had a brother or sister. Most of the kids raised their hands, so Kumera raised his hand too. Some kids shouted out "I have a brother" or "I have a sister". Then Kumera shouted out "I have a sister!" I thought it was cute and I figured Oh, he's just copying the other kids. Once we were home I mentioned to him that he raised his hand when the leader asked if anyone had a brother or sister. I said to him "You don't have a brother or sister yet." Then he said "I have a sister!! She's in Ethiopia!" Wow, did that take me by surprise! We've talked about it a few times, but certainly not in depth, and I didn't think Kumera even really understood what having a sibling was yet. I guess I've underestimated him! I do that a lot. He's obviously absorbing a lot more than he lets on. And clearly he's a lot more confident that a little girl is joining our family than I am.

Special visit to our sponsor child

2011-06-20T15:38:00.019-05:00

Recently a friend of mine travelled to Uganda. She told us about her plans well in advance and offered to take with any gifts we'd like to send to our sponsor child, Joseph. Of course we jumped on that opportunity! So, not only did we send gifts, my mother-in-law and her neighbor did as well. They are sponsoring Joseph's brother and sister. Since we knew so well in advance about this trip, we had the gifts ready to go in our home for nearly a year already! We bought Canada shirts for the whole family just before Canada Day, last year!

So, after a few complications my friend finally managed to deliver the gifts to Joseph's school and she met Joseph in person! She didn't have her camera with when she met him, so I don't have any pictures of that. But she does have video for us, which I haven't seen yet. Thank you so much Leah for doing all this for us!

Then another friend, whom I got to know through our choir hosting experiences, just happened to also be in Uganda and met Joseph by chance! Joseph happened to be at the choir training centre wearing his brand new Canada shirt when Jenny got introduced to him and she realized that he was our sponsor child. Pretty amazing how that all worked out! Jenny works with the African Children's Choir and we hosted her and two girls from choir 30 in our home in 2008. She had the pictures below taken for us. Thank you so much Jenny!

Jenny and Joseph are pictured below. I can't believe how tall Joseph has gotten and how mature he looks! He's now 16! I love that the shirt fits him perftectly!

Below, Joseph is with his little sister, Grace, age 7. Grace is my mother-in-law's sponsor child. Grace is training to be in African Children's Choir #38! I would really, really love it if we could see her in concert and if Wayne's mom could meet her! She's such a sweetheart!

Below, I'm pictured with Joseph when we visited him in 2008. He's 13 here. He's holding the gift that was purchased with our christmas donation.

The picture below was taken in 2005 when we hosted Joseph and Martie from African Children' Choir #25. Joseph was 10 then. We began sponsoring Joseph about 2 months later. Joseph is the one holding the cat.

Sneak peek!

2011-06-11T08:42:00.007-05:00

Ok, I can't resist... here's a sneak peek of our renovation. All you get is the flooring (and a tiny bit of the walls). I can't wait to post before and after pictures once it's all done. It looks so different from before, it's hard to believe it's actually the same house! And I can't believe this is actually coming together! I never thought I'd live to see the day I'd get a new kitchen, living room and dining room! I'm excited! Can you tell?

This is the DuraCeramic in the dining room:

This is the DuraPlank in the living room:

Reno update

2011-06-09T14:45:00.023-05:00

Flooring is getting installed this week! I'm so excited! I love the flooring we picked out. It took us a while to agree on something but we finally managed to find flooring we both liked. I was beginning to worry we wouldn't find anything we both liked and that we'd end up with a plywood floor! It tooks us forever to finally agree on something. So we decided DuraPlank in the living room and DuraCeramic in the kitchen and dining room. The two products are made exactly the same, just one's in plank form and one's in tile form. And one looks like hardwood and one looks like ceramic tile and the textures are different. It's like a linoleum product. It's maintenance free, wears well and it's beautiful! Maybe I'll give you a sneak peek, once the flooring is complete. Maybe.

And you should see our handyman! What a cutie! He would melt any ladies heart! Just check out those dashing eyes and that cute smile

Not the most safety conscious... working barefoot and all...

But at least he's got his pencil behind his ear... so that just makes him cool!

A real workman, you know!

He may not get a lot done in one day:

And you can tell he runs a Mickey Mouse operation, just by the shirts he wears.

But at least he tries!

Good thing we're not paying him!

I just hired him for his looks! :)

Someone who understands

2011-06-06T22:23:00.014-05:00

I got to know someone in the community about a year ago. I don't know her well, but we've had a few conversations. She's always shown a lot of interest in our son, and often asks questions about adoption. She always seemed to have an understanding that most people don't have and she always seems to know what to say and what not to say. I recently got into a conversation with her about adopted children having a need to be around people that resemble them. She asked if we have any African friends or have any friends with adopted African children. I said yes to both. She mentioned how good that was and how important it will be for Kumera to be around people who resemble him. Most people don't recognize this need or see the importance of it. I wondered to myself how she seems to understand so many aspects of adoption that most people don't even think about . Then it soon became clear. She began telling me about her parent's adoption experience. I said to her "You're adopted?" and she said "Yes." It all makes sense now! She understands. She really understands! She has to understand!

She told me about how she found and met her birth mother and several biological relatives. She told me about the family resemblances among her, her birth mom, aunts, uncles and cousins. I asked her how it felt to finally be with people she resembled. She had never known what that felt like, so she said it felt pretty cool. She felt like she really fit in. I also asked her how her parents felt when she decided to find her birth mother. They hadn't liked it. Her adoptive mom felt like she was being replaced. It hadn't been her intention at all to make her mom feel that way, she just wanted to know her roots and why she was adopted. I told her I totally understood that. She reinforced for me some things I already knew from reading adoption articles. When an adopted child searches for their biological roots, it really has nothing to do with the adoptive parents. They are in no way looking to replace their adoptive parents, they just want to know their history. There are just some things that adoptive parents cannot provide their adopted children... that is their biological roots and the answers to many unanswered questions. And that is something that adoptive parents should not deny their children if they have the chance to find it.

Immigration Application

2011-06-01T10:04:00.005-05:00

Ok, I need some advice from adoptive families who have applied for immigration in recent months. We still haven't applied for immigration because I really don't know whether to apply for citizenship or permanent resident. We're supposed to have this done well before we recieve a referral. With Kumera's adoption, we only had one option, which was permanent resident, and then we applied for his citizenship after arriving home with him. Laws have changed since then, so now we have the choice of permanent resident or citizenship. CAFAC recommends citizenship, but they don't give me a lot of reasons why. The only thing they told me was that then the immigration medical is not required after court. So, I'd like to hear from families who have done this recently and which is better or quicker, etc. And is there a difference in citizenship status once the child becomes a Canadian citizen with either method? I've heard there might be some limitations with the citizenship route. Any input would be great!

What we've been up to lately

2011-05-27T09:35:00.004-05:00

This morning is the first time in a long time that I actually have the house entirely to myself! Kumera's at preschool and there are no contractors coming in today. Oh, this feels so nice! So, I actually have some time to do a blog post. I have to say I'm very tired of the reno's. I spend most of my time just keeping Kumera out of the way and entertained. And trying to come up with meals with limited space and appliances is becoming a bigger challenge every day. I'll be so happy once it's done! Painting is finished and now we'll have some down time before the flooring comes in. Cabinets are coming June 14th! I can't wait!

We had our first auction of the season on May 14th. It was a huge success! TONS of people came out. The canteen even ran out of food! Weather turned out to be beautiful. The day before was horrible... extremely cold, windy and rainy. So, we were very blessed to have such beautiful weather on the day of the auction.

Kumera loves Daddy's truck and spends evey moment he can in it. Above he's assuming the role as the official truck driver for the auction (or so he thinks!). Below is at the end of the auction. Now it's his turn to auction! He can immitate Daddy quite well!

Last fall the town got a new playground. We hadn't seen it yet, so we went recently to check it out. It's very cute. It is a farm themed playground.

And there's even a musical instrument section. Very cute!

Adoption Update

2011-05-17T07:44:00.012-05:00

A little update on our adoption.... there were 7 referrals last month, now putting us at 53 on the list. There's 53 families ahead of us and 65 families behind us with a total of 118 families on the waiting list. To give you an idea of how fast (or slow) we're moving up the waiting list, here are some numbers from the past year. March 2010 was the first time we started getting these numbers. Before that we never had an idea of where we were at. These are the number of families that have been ahead of us each month:

Mar 2010 - 116
Apr 2010 - 106
May 2010 - 99
Jun 2010 - 93
Jul 2010 - 97
Aug 2010 - 87
Sep 2010 - 82
Oct 2010 - 78
Nov 2010 - 76
Dec 2010 - 70
Jan 2011 - 65
Feb 2011 - 65
Mar 2011 - 59
Apr 2011 - 53

So, we are getting closer, slowly but surely. I'm happy that things are at least still moving. In some countries adoption programs seem to be at a stand still. I feel bad for those waiting families who just want to see some movement. I guess slow progress is still better than no progess.

And here's a funny little story about Kumera. We were watching The Price is Right and a contestant was bidding on a trip to South Africa. The word "Africa" perked up Kumera's ears. He said "They're going to Africa?" I said "Yes, maybe". Then he said "Then they're going to turn brown?" I tried hard not to giggle. Apparently he's developed some ideas about how people get their colour.

Busy times!

2011-05-16T23:25:00.006-05:00

We've been so busy lately, I hardly have the time to think about updating my blog. First of all I wanted to mention this earlier, but have been so busy. Congratulations to our friends R and H on the adoption of their children (age 5 and 3) whom they brought home from Ethiopia on May 7th! Your kids are precious and adorable! We're so happy to see you finally home with your kids after an almost 3 month stay in Ethiopia!

Lately, reno's have been consuming our whole home life. It's a big renovation. We've completely gutted the living room, dining room, hallway and kitchen (I have no kitchen!) and we've had contractors coming in every day. We've had up to 6 guys in our house at once, each one making a massive mess which I have to clean up at the end of the day. So, I'm putting all my efforts into keeping Kumera out of the mess and out of the way and trying to clean up and maintain a somewhat normal routine among the chaos. It's been overwhelming, to say the least, to see my home get torn apart, while trying to try to live in a smaller space with more stuff to find space for. I'm losing track of where everything is... everything from shoes to calenders (with appointments on them) to cooking utensils to groceries. We have a makeshift kitchen set up in the basement, with very limited space to work with, plus everything is constantly covered in dust from the reno's. I may just lose my sanity by the time this is all done. (Oh wait... I already lost that during our first adoption process!) But I know it's going to be beautiful when it's done. It was high time to renovate. As we demolished everything, we discovered how bad shape some things were in. We put it off for so long because I was dreading the massive mess this project would be. But I think the worst is almost over. The taping and sanding is getting done this week, so once that's done the really dusty part is over!! Then I can start some proper cleaning without having to worry about another thick layer of dust appearing by the end of the day.

And to top that all off, we took Kumera to emergency yesterday. He was being careless and fell off the side of our front steps (we don't have a railing). He landed on his forehead and toppled head over heals. (Good thing it was soft grass!) I was very concerned about his head, neck and back from the way he landed, but he complained about his hand actually. Later, he woke up from his nap crying and his hand was swollen and he couldn't bend his fingers so we took him in. They x-rayed his hand, but couldn't see any visible breaks, but they splinted his fingers anyway due to the swelling and the inability to bend his fingers. They checked the rest of him over, and he seemed to be fine otherwise. So, now he's proudly showing off his splint to everyone he sees while telling them his story!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-09T22:27:00.007-05:00

It's a little late, but Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's out there! Especially to the mom's who are celebrating their first Mother's Day! I also want to remember the women who can only dream of being called "mom". I remember how hard Mother's Day was for me every year before we adopted Kumera. It was one of the worst days of the year for me. However, I particularly remember a Mother's Day church service that was one of the most memorable services I have ever been at. The first part of the service was really hard, but then they also beautifully and sincerely acknowledged all the women who want so badly to be moms, but aren't able to. It was very touching and emotional for me and it meant so much to me to be acknowledged on Mother's Day even though I wasn't a mom. Mother's Day had new meaning for me from then on, even though it was still hard.

We went to church yesterday for Mother's Day and I was very pleased when I saw the photo on the front this week's bulletin. It was very personal and fitting for me. I couldn't stop staring at it, and thought to myself "It's as though someone thought of me on this Mother's Day!" All the churches in our conference get the same bulletin every week, so this photo isn't exclusive to our church. I just thought it was really cool to see a photo like this on Mother's Day! Someone thought of families like ours!

It reminded me of this photo that a friend of mine took shortly after we arrived home with Kumera:

Reno's!

2011-04-28T14:34:00.018-05:00

So we decided to renovate! We've been wanting to do this for many years, but kept putting it off for so many different reasons. Too busy working, too busy with auctions, too busy adopting, too busy parenting, too expensive, need to pay for our adoption, don't want the mess, etc, etc. So, we decided to get it done now before our second adoption gets too close.

We are gutting the kitchen, living room, dining room and hallway. And we're tearing out all the walls between those rooms. It's going to feel so open and big! I'm so excited about that. We've been in this house for 15 years and I've always hated how ugly our walls are with cracks, etc. All the old ugly drywall is finally coming out! Yay! This is where the guts of our house is. In a big blue dumpster on our front lawn. Kumera is having a blast throwing stuff in to the BIG BLUE BIN!

We were a little upset with where the dumpster was placed. They were supposed to put it beside our deck on the south side of the house out of the way. Not on the front lawn. Now our front lawn has deep ruts all over it. Wayne had a little discussion with them about that.

Here's a little sneak peek at what our house is looking like:

Above: This is our dining room window before we started renovating. See those nice cedar boards around the window? Yeah, those came off. And there was drywall underneath with wallpaper on it. Beautiful wallpaper! Well, I'm sure it was beautiful at one time!

Bye bye wallpaper. It was nice knowing you! For a very short time.

I'll be sure to post some before and after photos once everything is done.

And here's a few pictures of Kumera helping with the demolition!

He loves all the "tunnels" that Daddy is putting into our walls!

And of course we can't forget about Easter! We had a good Easter. Here's a few pictures from that.

He got a lolipop with a bunny snout on it.

Kumera with all his Easter loot!

Girls clothes

2011-04-13T19:24:00.012-05:00

Lately, I've been sorting through a lot of Kumera's toys and clothes. I've been busy packing away clothes that are too small and toys that he doesn't play with anymore (or never did). He got so many fantastic baby toys when we brought him home, but he never showed any interest in them. I kept telling myself he'd play with them when he was older. Then when he finally did develop an interest in toys, around the age of 2.5, he was too old for the baby toys. He just went straight to toys with wheels... boys toys! Cars, trucks, trains...none of this baby stuff! So, now we have all these great baby toys that are basically new.

I've started selling off some of our baby stuff. I've been hanging on to it "just in case" we get an infant, but we're not expecting to get a referral for an infant anymore, because we've asked for a child as old as possible. But still, I'm a little bit sad to see some of the stuff go. It got used for such a short time. It's practically new. And it's just a reminder that our baby is no longer a baby. As each day goes by, the baby days become a more distant memory.

As I was going through Kumera's clothing I came across two outfits that I bought 2.5 years ago, when we applied for our second adoption. I was just so excited about applying again, that I had to go out and buy something for our future daughter. This is what I bought:

Two pairs of pajamas. One pair is size 2 and the other is size 3. When we applied for adoption #2, most Ethiopian adoptions were taking about 2 years to complete. We knew that the timelines were becoming longer, so we compensated for that and figured on 3 years. When I bought these outfits, I was thinking the child would be 2-3 years old when we brought her home. Well, 2.5 years have passed since then and there's no end in sight and we've now increased our age request to 33 months or almost 3 years old. According to the unmatched list from CAFAC, it looks like we could easily be waiting another year for a referral. If another year goes by with no referral, we'll be updating again and increasing our age request by another year. Plus MOWA has slowed down their processing of adoptions. So, it looks like our child will be well over 2-3 years old like we orginally thought. Finding these 2 pairs of pajamas this week was a reminder of that, as I realized that our future daughter will likely never wear them. It made me sad. I knew at the time I was probably jumping the gun by buying stuff, but I just had to buy something. We also have a few other baby girl outfits given to us as hand me downs. Very cute too, but I knew right off the bat that we'd probaby never use them. I've been keeping them all this time "just in case". But I think it's time to give the baby girl stuff a new home so some other special baby girl can use them.

You don't know how many times I've been tempted to buy little girl stuff. These days I find myself browsing through the girls clothes way more often than the boys clothes. People give me strange looks since I have a little boy with me and it's not newborn stuff I'm looking at, but rather bigger girl's clothes... about Kumera's size. The other day I found the most adorable girls spring jackets which I so badly wanted to buy. I told Wayne that once we get our referral, he'll have to hold me back otherwise I will go nuts buying girl stuff. I know I'm going to have to wait at least until our court hearing goes through... but it's going to be hard.

Referrals are still coming in

2011-04-08T14:08:00.005-05:00

We received the March Ethiopia Update from CAFAC this week. There were 8 referrals in March. It's good to know referrals are still coming in. There are now 59 families ahead of us and 67 families behind us, with a total of 126 families waiting for referrals. A year ago there were 116 families ahead of us and 61 families behind us with a total of 177 families on the list. So, the total number of families has been steadily dropping for the past year. I guess there are fewer families applying for Ethiopia, probably due to the drastic changes with the Ethiopia program in the last year or two.

As for MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) in Ethiopia... concerning their decision to reduce adoptions by 90%. It sounds like they have been reducing the number of adoptions they're processing for nearly a year already. Maybe not by 90%, but they have been reducing. However, the courts are continuing to increase the number of cases. But if MOWA does not produce an approval letter on time for the court hearing, the judge has to set a new court date. So, to me this sounds like the length of time between the referral and the final court hearing will increase. Not great news for children waiting in transition homes to join their new families.

ABC Book

2011-04-05T13:09:00.016-05:00

I've been struggling to get Kumera to learn his ABC's, but he's just not interested. At all. I've tried teaching him with books and puzzles, but he'd far rather run and jump or play with trucks and trains. So, I thought I'd make a book especially for him that might spark his interest. With the help of the Family Resource Center I put together the following book. I made the pages myself and the Resource Center laminated and bound the book for me free of charge. We got the finished product just today, so we'll see how much interest Kumera shows in this book. So far, he likes that he's on every page in the book. He's not big into books, but he likes books at bedtime. I'm really hoping this will help him learn the alphabet.

He's always had a very mysterious way of learning. With his colours and shapes, he showed no interest whatsoever. I tried everything to teach him, but he was just sooo not interested. Then one day he just knew them all. I had to wonder where, when or how he learned his colours when he showed no interest at all. I'm thinking he'll be the same way with the alphabet. One day he'll just know it, without taking the time to sit down and learn it. I guess with enough exposure to the alphabet, it will help.

Here's a few pages from the book:

The flag is upside down, yes I know. It bugs me that it's upside down. We took that picture a day or two after we came home from Ethiopia.

Overwhelmed lately

2011-03-29T08:38:00.015-05:00

Lately I have felt overwhelmed with parenting Kumera. Maybe it's just the age he's at. I hear many parents say that the 3's are much worse than the 2's. I beginning to believe that. I'm having the same overwhelming feelings that I did when we came home with him 3 years ago. Some families talk about the anniversary of the adoption being a very difficult time with their children because, being the same time of year, it brings back memories of the trauma of the adoption. It's the same time of year for us, but we've never experienced this at other anniversaries. Plus I can't see how it would bring back memories for Kumera having been so young at the time. Maybe it's also because winter has been very long and we're all tired of being cooped up inside and Wayne has been very busy this winter, so he's been away a lot. It's probably a combination of things.

What has Kumera been like lately? I don't think you want to know. Temper tantrum after temper tantrum. Screaming so loud and long that it makes my ears ring. Angry all the time. Bossy. Talking back to us. Refusing to obey. Throwing and breaking toys. It's been miserable. We've had lots of discipline and time outs lately on a daily basis. He's really testing us. I think I'm finding it more difficult than I did when we first brought him home. He's been demanding so much of my attention and energy lately that I can't keep up with everything else around here and it's beginning to show.

One afternoon this week I took him for a walk along the train tracks. He absolutely loves this because he's in love with trains. We reached the end of the street and it was time to go back. I knew he was going to refuse and that it was going to get ugly. So, I tried to convince him slowly and gave him enough warning that we were soon going back. Nothing worked. Eventually I had to just take him by the arm and start dragging him back home. He protested and screamed at the top of his lungs the entire way back home all the way into the house. Of course everyone has to look out of their windows to see who's torchering their kid. It was not a fun time. We live in a small community where everyone knows us. But when this kind of thing happens in the big city, we get wide eyed glares from people and we can just see the wheels turning - "should I call 911 to report a kidnapping?" Yeah, go ahead report me for kidnappig my own kid! Anyway, he got warned he would get disciplined when we got home. And disciplined he got. Once he realized mom meant business, the screaming stopped. But by that time I was worn out.

He hasn't been to preschool all winter because we chose not to register him for the winter term (bad mistake!). We've registered him for the spring term which starts early April. I CAN'T WAIT!!! He'll be going two mornings a week instead of one like he did last fall. Me thinks we'll be registering him for the winter term next year!! Me and Kumera have just been together so much this winter that I think we need a break from each other. I think preschool will help. I expressed this to somebody lately and they said something like "You wanted him so badly and now you want to get rid of him?" No, of course I don't want to get rid of him. I love him to peices, but people just get tired of each other when you're together 24/7 no matter who it is. It feels like you're just not allowed to vent when parenting becomes difficult.

Update finally done (almost)

2011-03-25T09:21:00.015-05:00

Well, I think after nearly 3 months, we've finished our dossier update. Whew! That took long. We were waiting for document after document and when we thought we had everything in, there was always something more we needed. We're not just updating the provincial stuff this time (which is required annually), we're updating the Ethiopian documents too (which is required every 2 years). We've never done the Ethiopian update before, so that was new to us.

We weren't in a big hurry to update our stuff because it doesn't look like we're anywhere near a referral, plus with the latest news from Ethiopia about reducing adoptions, it doesn't look all that promising. It's costing us at least $600.00 to update everything, so that's why we weren't too excited to update our stuff. It kind of feels like it's pointless right now. But we did it, and now it's done. We met with our social worker yesterday, so now we just have to wait for her to write up our homestudy and we have to sign it and send it in. She's just waiting to see a few documents before she can type it up. We updated our age request to as old as we're allowed to go, which is 33 months. We have to state our age request in months and we cannot go any older than 12 months younger than Kumera. He's 45 months right now. I would give you more details on how our meeting went, but this is a public blog, so I'd rather not say too much. I might go private sometime soon, so I can feel more free to vent.

Recently, we also had a conversation with a know-it-all who thinks they have all the answers to international adoption. Boy, I tell you, people like that are really starting to get under my skin! She started out by asking Kumera if he wanted a brother or sister. Then she asked us if we had thought about adopting again (she didn't know that we are in fact adopting again). We told her yes, we are and that we've been on the waiting list for 2 years already. Then we also told her that it wasn't looking too promising because Ethiopia has reduced their adoptions by 90%. Oh boy, that was the wrong thing to tell her. She went on a rampage about how sick that is, and how all the children in Ethiopia are now going to starve and die, and we should be allowed to adopt all their children, blah, blah, blah. She didn't even consider asking why they've reduced adoptions. I tried to tell her that they want to reduce corruption. Then she went on and on saying "Oh, so that means all the kids are being sold into the sex trade, right?" Huh? I don't know how you assumed "sex trade" from what I said. I tried to tell her that Ethiopia wants to make sure that the children are truly adoptable, and they're not being relinquished for the wrong reasons or by the wrong people. I said I would hate to adopt a child that wasn't supposed to be adopted. She misunderstood this completely and went on and on about how the children are far better off here and that their parents don't deserve to raise them and they should be more than happy to hand over their kids to us because we can do a much better job of raising them here. Basically, in her uninformed opinion, she was saying that Ethiopian parents have no rights, and we should have all the authority when it comes to their children because we're smarter and better than they are. This just angered me! I've come across a lot of people who have similar opinions, but are at least willing to listen to the facts. I can handle that. But I've never encountered anyone who expressed their opinion so strongly and wouldn't even listen to the other side of the story. She just infuriated me! For one thing, we don't have any authority when it comes to Ethiopian adoptions. The Ethiopian authorities do. And secondly, if you don't know enough about international adoption or the circumstances of any specific adoptions, then please keep your uninformed opinions to yourself! I guess I expected more from this individual, because she's a very intelligent, educated, respected professional. Clearly those qualities don't say anything! Then she also tried to give us lots of advice about adopting from here and told us about all the families she knows that have adopted from here and how we should do that instead. At that point I gave up! I just politely nodded and walked out of the room. I didn't even attempt to tell her how we tried to adopt from here. I had had enough of her!

Fantastic adoption video

2011-03-18T13:04:00.027-05:00

Adoptive Families recently promoted a Christian music video about adoption on their website. The song is called Children of God, by Third Day. I checked it out and I love it! It features real adoptive families with the adopted children wearing t-shirts which say "adopted". Eventually all the family members reveal their "adopted" t-shirts to show that we're all adopted into God's family. The lead singer of this group is also an adoptive dad. I tried to upload this video to my blog but it didn't work, so here's the link to the website where you can watch it.

www.thirdday.com/adopted

That made me think...

2011-03-14T13:24:00.007-05:00

I watched a movie the other day. It was about a woman with an unplanned pregnancy who wanted to give up her baby for adoption. She just needed the father of her baby to sign the papers. He didn't want to sign because he didn't want his child to be adopted. She couldn't understand why, until she found out that he was adopted. She asked him why he wouldn't want his child to grow up in a home where he would be loved and wanted rather than grow up with a mother who would have regrets for the rest of his life. She asked the father "Didn't you have a wonderful upbringing with wonderful parents?" He response was "Yeah, sure! But I'd give all of that up in a heartbeat just so I could know my birthmother".

That hit me like a ton of bricks! I was almost in tears! Do most adopted children really feel this way? Do most adoptees feel like they've been short changed in life? Would they chose their birthparents over their adoptive parents even after knowing their adoptive parents? Or did the writers of this movie just dramatize this movie? If I think with my head instead of my heart, I know better. I know plenty of adult adoptees who love their adoptive families and wouldn't change any of it for the world. But the statement in the movie still hit me hard. Do you think this movie gave a very false perception of adoption? I'm sure most adoptees would love to know their birthparents, or at least find out a little bit about them. But would they give up their adoptive families in a heartbeat to know them? I'd like to think no. I know we can't make a blanket statement about all adoptees, but I'd like to know what people think. What are your thoughts? Did this movie give adoption a bad rap? It made an impression on me... an adoptive parent who knows better. What impression will this give on the general public who know nothing about adoption?

What happened in the end of this movie? The birthfather did sign the papers, but after the mother gave birth, she changed her mind and kept the baby.

Three year Adoption Day Anniversary

2011-03-11T09:28:00.019-06:00

Yesterday was our Gotcha Day! Three years since Kumera joined our family! Yesterday also marked two years since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia. But I won't talk about that in this post because I want this to be a happy post.

Kumera has been aware for the last number of weeks that his Adoption Day was coming up. He knew he would be getting at least one gift for this day. He picked out a particular book (Disney Cars Mater) in the store that he really, really wanted. So we bought it for him and tried to hide it from him, but he saw it, so we told him he had to wait until his adoption day before he could have it... and we hoped he'd forget about it. No such luck! So nearly everyday for the last few weeks he came to me first thing in the morning with his hands in a praying position and a pleading look on his face and say "Can I open my present pleeeeease???" followed by, in a very quiet voice, like it was a secret "My mater book?!" It was way too cute to get mad over! I guess he's past the age of short term toddler memory! Clearly he's growing up and building a good memory! So all day yesterday he knew it was his special day, but he had to wait until Daddy was home before he could open his gifts. He was so patient. Here' he's waiting patiently for me to bring him his gifts.

Horray, he finally gets his gifts!

MY MATER BOOK!!! MY MATER BOOK!!!

Looking at his beloved MATER book!

Kumera with all his new gifts... a Thomas book, 2 Thomas movies and the Mater book. He loved them all, but the Mater book was definitely tops!

Ethiopia update... very discouraging

2011-03-08T09:38:00.009-06:00

We recieved the February Ethiopia update from CAFAC this week. It's discouraging to say the least. For starters, there were no referrals this month, but this wasn't the really discouraging part. They posted an exerpt from a magazine that went something like this:

Ethiopia’s Ministry of Women’s, Children’s and Youth Affairs has issued a directive saying it will process a maximum of five inter-country adoptions a day, effective March 10. Currently, the ministry is processing up to 50 cases a day, about half of them to the United States.

And then I also found this article on betheanswerforchildren.wordpress.com

March 7, 2011
Statement on the Pending Reduction of Intercountry Adoption in Ethiopia

Last week the Ethiopian Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs announced their intention to reduce intercountry adoptions by 90% beginning March 10, 2011. The Ministry’s plan for a dramatic reduction is apparently based on two primary issues; 1) the assumption that corruption in intercountry adoption is systemic and rampant and 2) the Ministry’s resources should be focused on the children for whom intercountry adoption is not an option. Without further announcements by the Government of Ethiopia, it is our understanding that the Ministry’s plan will be initiated this week.

The Ministry’s plan is a tragic, unnecessary and disproportionate reaction to concerns of isolated abuses in the adoption process and fails to reflect the overwhelmingly positive, ethical and legal services provided to children and families through intercountry adoption. Rather than eliminate the right of Ethiopian children to a permanent family, we encourage the Ministry to accept the partnerships offered by governments, NGOs, and foundations. Such partnerships could increase the Ministry’s capacity to regulate service providers and further ensure ethical adoptions.

The Ministry’s plan which calls for the processing of only five adoption cases per work day, will result not only in systemic and lasting damage to a large sector of social services, but will have an immediate impact on the lives and futures of children. Moving from over 4,000 adoptions per year to less than 500 will result in thousands of children languishing in under-regulated and poorly resourced institutions for years. For those children who are currently institutionalized and legally available for adoption, the Ministry’s plan will increase their time languishing in institutions for up to 7-years.

Joint Council respectfully urges the Ministry of Women, Children and Youth Affairs to reconsider their plan and to partner with governments, NGOs and foundations to achieve their goals and avoid the coming tragedy for children and families.

CAFAC is looking into this news and is waiting to hear more from Ethiopia. This is extremely discouraging news. This is just about enough to make a person throw in the towel. This week our dossier has been in Ethiopia for 2 years. We were thinking it would take another year to get a referral. Now... who knows.

His own Cross

2011-02-16T09:50:00.007-06:00

A while back I bought a story book for Kumera about adoption. I was going to give it to him for Christmas when he was two, but decided he was too young yet to understand any of the book. I decided that maybe he's now old enough and decided to try reading it to him. So far so good! He's understanding a lot of the book and he points out that the lady is Mommy and the man is Daddy and he points to the little girl in the story and asks "Is that me?" He gets that the story is about him!

I've been pointing out things in the story that are the same for Kumera. Such as they have a dog and we have a dog, the little girl takes off her socks just like Kumera likes to take off his socks, and she has a bookshelf that looks just like Kumera's bookshelf. The little girl in the story has a cross on her bedroom wall. Kumera also has a cross in his bedroom and I pointed that out to him too. And now he's completely hooked on this cross and he insists on playing with it while I read him this story. He actually uses it as an airplane! Such a boy thing to do!

The cross says "Protect this child oh Lord we pray, while he sleeps or while he plays." I found this pewter cross somewhere for really cheap a couple of months before we even got Kumera's referral and not even knowing we'd get a boy. I just had to have it because this basically was my prayer for my unknown child then already. I could only dream of the day that this cross would mean anything to my future child. That day is now here and who knew that an adoption story book is what would help bring any type of meaning to this cross for my son. He wasn't even aware he had a cross in his room until I began reading this story to him. I've explained the prayer to him and I think he understands it at least a little.

He thinks it's pretty cool that he has a cross just like the little girl has a cross. I love all these little things in the story that help him relate.

There's this page that has four children on it and one of them is a brown skinned boy that looks like Kumera. I pointed to the boy and asked him "Is that Kumera?" He says no and points to the main character girl from the story and says "That's Kumera". She's the one he can relate to. She has things in her life that are the same as his own and she has a mommy and a daddy just like he has. I'm learning so much from my son as I'm discovering the way he sees things.

Multi-cultural event

2011-02-11T14:38:00.004-06:00

Our community had it's second annual multicultural event last week. We didn't have a table display like we had last year, but we did participate in the flag parade. Last year each country had it's own table display with food samples. This year they just had a table representing each continent with a mini flag of each country on the table. They also had some activities to participate in as well as some cultural entertainment. I didn't bring my camera this year, or I would have more pictures to post. I'm really quite amazed at how many different cultures are represented in our small community.

Kumera wore his one of his Ethiopian outfits and hat for the parade.

Each country had a flag bearer and a placard holder. Wayne and Kumera held the flag together for the parade, while I held the placard. Kumera is very proud of his flag and was thrilled to be able to carry it with Daddy! He would not let go for nothing! It makes me happy to see him developing pride in his birth culture!

Adoption update

2011-02-05T19:10:00.005-06:00

Here's January's update on Ethiopian adoptions from CAFAC.

There were 6 referrals this month. On the unmatched list there are now 65 families ahead of us and 67 families behind us, with a total of 132 families waiting. This is the first time there's actually fewer families ahead of us than behind us. We're over half way up the list!! Is that something to get excited about? I don't know, but I gotta get excited about something in this journey, since there's not much else to get excited about yet.

We also got a fair bit of info about the court process and what to expect. We got a list of questions that the judge might be asking us, along with appropriate answers that we should give. This is very helpful information and I'm glad they're giving this to us. I'm admit I'm scared and nervous about the court hearing (even if it is a long, long ways away yet), so anything they can give us to help us prepare is welcome info! We're also told that the court hearing can be very emotional, sometimes with lots of crying. Knowing this makes me even more nervous, because we'll have no idea how it will turn out. But it's still a long ways away, so I don't need to think about it too much yet. We gotta get that referral happening first!!

Is this your son?

2011-02-05T10:02:00.008-06:00

So, recently someone from our community has been asking me a lot of questions about our adoption. She became really interested in it and asked if we took any pictures in Africa. Well, of course we did... but only like, 2000! She asked if she could see them, so the next time I saw her I brought our photo album from our trip.

Kumera was just 7 months old when we met him. He was a baby. We were only in Africa for 2 weeks, so by the time we left he was still a baby! This is what he looked like then:

Ok, so get this. She saw pictures of numerous kids we met in Africa and this is what she would ask about these pictures.

Is this your son?

Umm, nooo, our son was a baby like you saw in the photos!
This was a kid on the street.

Oh, is one of these kids your son?

No, these are street kids. Our son was a baby!

Oh, he's so cute! Is he your son?
Uh no, he's a kid we met on the street. Our son was a baby!

Oh, they're adorable! Which one is your son?
Never mind! Excuse me while I go bang my head on the wall!

Child sponsorship complete!

2011-02-02T19:25:00.007-06:00

For the past two years we've been sponsoring a little boy named Tameru from Ethiopia, through Christian Children's Fund of Canada. This little boy is 8 days younger than Kumera. We searched many organizations specifically for an Ethiopian child close to Kumera's age. We were very surprised to actually find a child so young at the time and only 8 days younger than Kumera. We've been writing to his family for the past two years and have gotten letters and photos back from his family. We were looking forward to the day when the boys would be old enough to write to each other. And we were hoping to visit this child and his family during our next trip to Ethiopia.

We got a letter today that gave me feelings of excitement, but also a little sadness. CCFC sent us a handwritten farewell letter from Tameru's family as well as a formal letter from the organization telling us that our sponsorship is no longer needed! Because of the support from sponsors like us, Tameru's community is now able to stand on it's own!! That almost brought me to tears! So often when you donate to a cause, you don't see real results for a very long time. We've only been sponsoring Tameru for 2 years and now his community of Chancho is GRADUATING from the program! It's so good to know that our dollars have been put to good use and will benefit an entire community long term! We got a lengthly letter explaining all the areas that have been developed in the community and how families are able to now sustain themselves. It's very encouraging to see. For anybody who thinks that sponsoring a child is a waste ... this proves them wrong! I could see from the first photo we got of Tameru to the second photo how he had improved. His sunken little cheeks and eyes were filled in and he looked so much more content, healthy and happy.

At the end of the letter there is a P.S. in tiny print. It requests that now that we've seen how our sponsorship has transformed a life, we should tell a friend. Posting about this on my blog is my way of telling a friend...many friends! So I would encourage anyone who doesn't already sponsor a child to consider sponsoring one... or more than one! We sponsor two kids. Just think... you could play a role in changing an entire community like we did!

So, now we have to make a decision. What child to sponsor next! CCFC sent us a sponsor packet for another child in Ethiopia... an adorable, but very sad looking 5 year old boy. But we also really love the African Children's Choir sponsorship program in Uganda. We love that they focus on teaching the kids about following Christ. I've seen that organization move children and families in spiritual ways and also give kids a great future. CCFC does not evangelize, but they obviously know how to build up entire communities and help them become self sufficient! I would love for Kumera to grow up having the opportunity to write to a child from his birth country. I'm not sure what we'll do, but we'll be praying about it!

Criminal record checks... what a headache!!!

2011-01-28T14:30:00.006-06:00

Sooo, we're in the midst of updating all our paperwork for our homestudy. Today we once again went to the RCMP detachment for yet another criminal record check. We've had so many of these done, we should know the routine by now. Well, wouldn't you know it, things have changed since our last crim check. Did you know that if your birthdate matches someone else's birthdate who has a criminal record, you have to get fingerprinted in order to confirm that you are not that criminal??? And the fingerprints have to be sent to Ottawa to be checked. We found this out today. They told us that this rule has always been, but they have had to start enforcing it recently. So this new rule resulted in a whole lot of running around today with a very impatient 3 year old.

First I went to the bank to get a certified check to pay for the criminal record checks. This detachment requires certified checks. Met up with Wayne at the RCMP detachment and filled out the neccessary documents. Waited and waited for them to complete the crim check. Found out that Wayne's birthdate matches some criminal's birthdate and were told that Wayne would have to get fingerprinted. Went to the back room of the RC station where me and Kumera watched Wayne get fingerprinted over and over again... they need multiple sets! Kumera was getting impatient again, so he became fascinated with the officer's uniform and equipment and he tried taking her gun out of the holster!!!!!! (Couldn't because it's locked up...thank goodness!) Thankfully she thought it was humorous! She said if it would've been anyone else, he might have gotten an elbow to the face! Went back to front and filled out more paperwork. Found out we have to pay another $50.00 for this fingerprinting process. This fee has to be paid with two separate $25.00 certified checks; one for the RC station and one to be sent to Ottawa. Soooo, back to the bank I go with toddler in tow to get two more checks certified and pay two more certifed check fees. Kumera was already impatient during the first trip to the bank. Then, back to the RC station. Wayne had to head back to work... this already took way more time out of his day than it was supposed to.

They told us that when they began doing this, it was taking up to SIX months to get the fingerprints back from Ottawa. Ottawa is trying to speed this up, so now they're saying up to THREE months! But, they told us today that they recently got some back within two weeks. Sooo, we'll be extremely lucky if Wayne's come back in two weeks. In the meantime, our homestudy will become outdated, and we can't accept a referral until it's updated. (Not like that will happen anyway!) I'm almost positive it will take another year before we see a referral, so that means we'll have to go through this crazy crim check process all over again. They told us that about 40% of the people are having to do the fingerprinting, but eventually everyone will have to do it. So next year it could be both of us doing it. So, what used to be a $20.00 cost for both of us to have crim checks done is now $70.00 plus $15.00 in certified check fees. Next year it will be more if I also have to get fingerprinting done.

All of this crap really makes you ask yourself "Why are we doing this? It will be worth it all, right?" All of this might just make us crazy enough to turn us to crime! (As long as our son doesn't get there first by taking cop's guns!!!) I have a headache!

Lots and lots of snow!

2011-01-28T10:19:00.008-06:00

Yup, we got tons of the white stuff! Sounds like the flood forecast for spring is much like the 2009 flooding! We've been spending quite a bit of time outdoors this winter. It's been mild most of the time, which is a good thing, because I'm a suck when it comes to really cold weather!

This is how I feel about the snow too:

But really, Kumera loves the snow! He could play outside for hours!

And he loves his little sled that Grandpa made! He still loves when we take him for a walk with it and always asks for it! I would too!

Conversations with Kumera

2011-01-25T23:44:00.010-06:00

Kumera comes up with some of the cutest, funniest and craziest things at times. I write a lot of them down and I don't usually share them on here, but thought today I would share a few. Some of these go back a few months, so bear with me if you've already heard about them.

One day he said "I'm gonna try and change the world!" (This is from a song he's heard many times by Johnny Ried.) I thought to myself, son, you've already changed the world! You've changed my world!

One evening as I was sitting in the recliner, he asked me to lean forward so he could look at my back. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was looking for my wings!

During Christmas baking season, Kumera peeks into the oven to see the cookies baking and I ask him how they look. He says "They look so handsome and hot!"

When Kumera is getting ready for bed he says "I gotta get all jammied up!"

One day I asked Kumera “What do you want to be when you grow up?” His answer: “Happy!” (That's the best answer ever!)

Kumera gave me a big hug and I said “Oh, I like getting big hugs from my Kumera bear!” He said “I’m not a bear, I’m a people!”

Lately when Kumera wants me to do something he’ll say “Go ahead, give it a go!”

Jumping through hoops...

2011-01-24T10:16:00.003-06:00

Jumping through hoops.... that's what the adoption journey feels like! And the longer the journey is, the more hoops we're jumping through. We received our update package from CAFAC about aweek ago. It's once again time to update the ol' homestudy and dossier paperwork... another hoop to jump through. It's starting to feel like we have to prove that we're suitable parents over, and over and over again! I know the law requires that all paperwork has to be current, but really, if we were suitable parents a year ago, we'll still be suitable parents today, don't ya think?? It just gets very tiring. Having to go for medical check ups, criminal record checks, doing the paper chase gathering all required documents. And spending more money to have everything updated! *Sigh* When will it end???

I guess if there's anything we could say to our future daughter, it would be this:

It's a little early, but Happy Valentines Day little one! We can't wait for you to come home!

How much does a child grow in 2.5 years?

2011-01-21T19:21:00.006-06:00

This much:

11 months old

20 lbs 13 oz

29.5" tall

3.5 years old
36 lbs
39.75 " tall

And the change table is no longer a change table. It's a toy shelf. Notice how the diapers have been replaced with toys?

A few facts about Ethiopia

2011-01-21T00:44:00.025-06:00

I went to an interesting website where you can compare Canada to any country in the world. This is what I learned about what life would be like if I lived in Ethiopia.

If Ethiopia were your home instead of Canada you would...

- have 15.8 times higher chance of dying in infancy
- be 5.3 times more likely to have HIV/AIDS
- have 4.2 times more babies
- die 25.49 years sooner
- use 99.78% less electricity
- consume 99.37% less oil
- make 97.66% less money
- spend 99.29% less money on health care
- experience 6.54% less of a class divide

And here's a few more facts on Ethiopia and Canada which I found some time ago.

Population:
Ethiopia: 70,000,000
Addis Ababa: 3,250,000
Canada: 33,000,000
Winnipeg: 675,000

Population Density:
Ethiopia: 70/sq km
Addis Ababa: 5165/sq km
Canada: 3.3/sq km
Winnipeg: 1365/sq km

Land Mass:
Ethiopia: 1 Million sq km
Canada: 10 Million sq km
Manitoba: 650,000 sq km

Population Growth:
Ethiopia: 15%
Canada: 4%

Living in Rural Areas:
Ethiopia: 80%
Canada: 23%

Here's a few photos of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia:

And here's a few photos of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada:

Of all the dumb questions...

2011-01-20T12:55:00.008-06:00

...this one probably takes the cake! The other day I had someone shower me with questions about our adoption. Most of them were dumb...but this one, really, I had a hard time keeping a straight face and tried to come up with a good answer, but couldn't think fast enough. It caught me so off guard I just gave them a blank look!

"Is Ethiopia in Egypt? Egypt isn't in Africa!"

People! Maybe look at a map before you speak! And the really dumb thing is, this isn't the first time I've heard similar comments!

See this map? This is the continent of Africa! Even my three year old recognizes that this is Africa!

See this here, this is Ethiopia... a country all by itself. Can you find it on the map of Africa?

See this here, this is Egypt... ALSO a country all by itself. Can you find this one on the map of Africa?

Now do you know where Ethiopia and Egypt are? They are two SEPERATE countries! Not cities, or whatever you thought they were. Countries! Yes, in Africa! And no, Africa is NOT a country! It's a continent!

When I've told some of my African friends this, they think it's outrageous that Westerners don't know better! We're all supposed to be educated here!

Playdates are so much fun!

2011-01-14T18:42:00.009-06:00

This week Kumera and I had a playdate with Ramona and her cute kiddos! Kumera had so much fun! And I did too! Ramona took these photos and gave me permission to post them, so I can't take the credit for taking these great photos!

It was so cute watching these three play together. Paulos and Kumera were pushing these trucks and Meski hung onto the back of their shirts while walking along with them.

See that Ethiopian flag hanging in the background... yeah, Kumera just had to go and yank it down! He loves the Ethiopian flag and is always interested in it whenever he sees one.

I remember a year ago waiting for these kids to come home and dreaming of the day when Kumera could play with them. That day is here and I love seeing these kids play together, because it just feels so amazing that all these kids from other parts of the world are even here. They are all such a blessing! Now we're just waiting on more kids to come home.

Melkam Genna!

2011-01-10T10:36:00.011-06:00

Melkam Genna! That's Merry Christmas in Amharic. Ethiopia celebrates their Christmas on January 7th. So, to celebrate we went out for Ethiopian food yesterday at Kokeb Ethiopian Restaurant. We went with two other adoptive families. Six adults, 4 Ethio kids and yummy, yummy food = a great evening!

This is the first time ever that Kumera actually ate some injera (the rolled up flat bread)! In the past he never even wanted to try it. He actually ate several peices this time. But not enough to get full on. He didn't care for most of the food (not surprising, as fussy as he is). So afterwards we stopped by Dairy Queen and bought him an ice cream cone, which he polished off pretty quick! This boy is not a big eater. Ever. So for him to even try the injera was shocking and then to completely finish an ice cream cone was pretty shocking too. I guess he was still hungry, but not hungry enough to eat more injera.

For those who are not familiar with Ethiopian food, you'll notice there are no utensils. That's right, you don't use utensils to eat this food. The injera is your utensil. You tear off a peice of the bread and use it to scoop up the food. The first time we went it was very awkward and we swore we'd take utensils with the next time. But we've gotten the hang of it and it works! Now it would just be wrong to use utensils!

Mmmm, mmmm, good! I can't get enough of that injera! I'd been craving it for months already. So now I should be good for a while ... a couple of weeks for sure!

Diapers... a thing of the past!

2011-01-06T10:57:00.005-06:00

I can officially say that diapers are a thing of the past at our house! YAY!!! Some of you might be wondering... wasn't he potty trained a long time ago? Yes, he's been trained since last spring, but he was still wearing diapers for night until recently. Prior to Christmas he only wet two diapers in two weeks and was dry all the other nights. We were down to 4 diapers and showed them to Kumera and said "We only have 4 diapers left and we're not buying any more. So you have to start wearing gitchies for night and you're not supposed to pee in them." I guess this worked because he's been dry every night since and we still have the 4 diapers left! So this week I put them away and also put away our diaper pail. BOY, THAT FELT GOOD!!! And Kumera is getting so good at going potty he doesn't even tell us anymore, he just goes on his own! He just started that last week! What a big boy he's becoming! And what a great way to start the new year!

Oh, this child and his ideas!

2011-01-04T15:07:00.003-06:00

Kumera begged for some cookies the other day, so I gave him some and then he decided not to eat them. I asked him why he didn't want to eat them. He responds with his eyebrows raised, eyes closed and with some attitude says "Because I am from Eefie-opia!" Then he pranced around the house saying "I am important, I am IMPORTANT to you!!" And then he made sure he said it to each of our faces, making eye contact and expecting a response! This was at Grandma's house so he did this to each person! It was rather hilarious! Oh, the things he comes up with on a daily basis! What would we do without him?

Adoption Update

2011-01-03T22:59:00.018-06:00

Here's some info from the latest Ethiopia update from CAFAC. There were 9 referrals in December. There are now 70 families ahead of us on the unmatched list and there's a total of 138 families on the list. Seven months ago there were 167 families on the list and that number has been dropping every month. I'm not sure why, but my guess is because Ethiopian adoption is not as appealing as it used to be with the long timeline that it has become and having to make two trips etc. I know if we were making a decision to start the adoption process now, we would probably not be as quick to sign on with Ethiopia as we were two years ago when we started. I don't know what country we would choose if we would be starting the process now, but I guess we'd have to do some research. I hear that Columbia is supposed to have a good program. But regardless, my heart is still in Africa and will always be. I feel that's where my children are.

CAFAC has moved into a new foster home in Ethiopia. This is the third foster home in three years. For those not familiar with this, all the children in the CAFAC foster home are children that are or will be matched to Canadian families (CAFAC's clients). Since we first applied with CAFAC in 2005, there have been a lot of foster home moves. I lost track a long time ago. I remember seeing pictures of the foster home they had in 2005. It looked like an ordinary house. They probably had no more than 20 kids. Now they have a multi level building and there's probably at least 70 kids, maybe more. (Don't quote me on that, I don't know exact numbers.)

Another thing mentioned in the update is that in no uncertain terms are adoptive parents allowed to see their children before the court hearing. When the new policy came in that adoptive parents were to appear in the Ethiopian court, the rumor came up that parents would briefly get to meet their child before court and then spend more time with the child after court. Apparently this is all incorrect. Agency reps have been given strict orders by the judge that parents are not to meet children before court. And apparently the policy that adoptive parents are to appear in court has always been an Ethiopian policy, but has not been enforced until now. There are more policies in Ethiopia that are not being enforced at this time. If they decide to start enforcing more policies, Ethiopian adoptions could become even more difficult.

Some people (who are clueless about international adoption and third world countries) seem to think that we have all the power when it comes to dealing with a country like Ethiopia. So many people have voiced their (uninformed) opinions to me on how they think adoption is or should be. "No, we can't just go there, pick a kid and bring it home. And no, we can't bring an extra one home for so-and-so." They seem to think that because we have all the wealth, intelligence and infrastructure here, we must have all the say and control when it comes to adopting children from a third world country. They have this idea in their mind that the entire county is weak, vulnerable and lacking the capacity to process the complexity of an international adoption....that they need us with the intelligence and resources to tell them what to do. That is so untrue. We are totally at the mercy of the Ethiopian authorities. And yes, they do have the intelligence and infrastructure needed to process adoptions. They have all the control, and the power, and the authority when it comes to us adopting their children. Why do you think we have to send annual reports of our child until they turn 18? But when I begin to explain this to some people, they get this glazed look and tune out. Sigh... some people will never get it. These are the people who have nothing to do with adoption and will never want to get it. They just need to have an opinion when the topic comes up. These are usually people that I meet in public that ordinarily have nothing to do with me, but know me somehow. They just need to come over and say something when they see my child.

Ethiopian stuff!

2011-01-03T12:35:00.017-06:00

I got my order from Amharic Kids just before Christmas! At first we were going to give some of these items to Kumera for Christmas, but then decided against it. He was already getting lots of other stuff and I didn't think he'd be too interested in these items at this point. Plus we want these special Ethiopian adoption items to be shared between Kumera and his future sibling. We want to teach him about his adoption slowly enough for him to really understand it and didn't think that Christmas would be the right time to throw this into the mix.

I was quite excited about the great deal I got on these items. Amharic Kids had a one week special for free shipping within the U.S. So I had these items shipped to a parcel service just across the border which is only a 15 minute drive from our house. When I picked up the parcel I only had to pay $2.00 handling to the parcel service. There was no taxes, no shipping and no duty on these items, PLUS some of them were on a pretty good sale! I hope they have a deal like this again soon!

This is a video about a couple who adopted a 10 year old girl from Ethiopia named Meskerem, or Meski for short. We know a Meskerem too! I got quite emotional as I was watching it. Wayne watched it with me and was very into it. I commented on how beautiful this girl was and he said "She's not just beautiful, she's stunning, she's gorgeous!" Watching the sight and sounds of Addis Ababa brought back so many memories and emotions I felt when we were there. I swear I could actually smell the aromas of Ethiopia while I was watching it. I really wish we could have seen this video when we were at the start of our first adoption process. The family featured in this video is also featured in the book "There is No Me Without You", by Melissa Fay Greene. I recognized them right away!

This is a children's Bible story.

A story of a little Ethiopian girl who goes to bed and says good night to everyone. It is written in four languages, English, Amharic, French and German.

A book to help learn some basic Amharic words. I'm hoping this will come in handy for our second adoption!

This is a really fantastic book. It's about an Ethiopia boy who gets adopted by an American family. It's so true to life. I think this book will be a great tool to help Kumera understand his adoption.

Click on any of the photos if you want to read the text.

Christmas 2010!

2010-12-29T10:25:00.030-06:00

It's been a busy, but good Christmas season! I hope everyone had a good Christmas! And for those waiting to bring your children home, especially if you don't already have children, I know how hard Christmas can be, seeing everyone around you with little ones and wanting sooo badly to have your own children at Christmas. I pray that you will be united with your own children soon! And when you experience that first Christmas with your children, it will be THE BEST!

This was right before Christmas. Kumera always insists on helping in the kitchen whenever I'm cooking or baking. I hope that's a sign of good things to come... like wanting to do all the cooking and baking?? We had a very messy kitchen, but Kumera had a blast! And yes, we did manage to get some cookies baked and decorated!

This is at our Sunday School program. Kumera was very pumped about saying his Christmas verse in front of everyone, but once he saw all the eyes staring at him, he got very shy. I had to help him with most of it and he was so quiet, no one could really understand him. He's not actually in Sunday School yet, but he was given the opportunity to say a verse for the program.

At the end he took a big bow, which everyone loved! It was so cute!

This was Christmas Eve, right after the Sunday School program. We always open our gifts on Christmas Eve. You see that big, flat round gift? Before Christmas, he told everyone he was getting a big pizza for Christmas!

The big pizza is a Toy Story snow saucer!! Now he laughs whenever we remind him that he thought it was a big pizza.

Woohoo.... Colour Changers! He begged for these the whole month of December!

Daddy got what he wanted. The Dukes of Hazzard police car. He already has the General Lee car, so now he has the police car. Plus Wayne and Kumera got a mini version in their stockings! (Last year I gave them the General Lee in their stockings) The store that usually carries these didn't have any before Christmas and said they weren't geting any. But then they got some in last minute right before Christmas and I got the last one! Then after Christmas we found out that they are being discontinued! So Wayne was very lucky to have gotten one. He's wanted one of these for years!

Christmas day was spent with Wayne's family at his Mom's house. Before we gathered at her house we all met at the cemetery to honour the memory of Wayne's Dad. December 17th was 10 years since he passed away. This was the first time in 10 years that we were all together at his grave. We brought a boquet of flowers. Each flower represented the birthstone of each member of the family. I was actually suprised at how busy the cemetery was on Christmas day. There was lots of people coming and going. I guess a lot of people are remembering lost loved ones.

Time to open gifts at Grandma's house!

Woohoo! More Colour Changers!!

He was mesmerised by these Colour Changers!

A family photo in front of Grandma's tree.

Kumera in front of Grandma's tree.

At our house on the 26th, just before heading to my parent's house. Kumera got this shirt from Grandma K.

This is at my parent's house. Saying prayer after we read the Christmas story.

Opening gifts from Grandma R.... the Disney Cars Colour Changers SET! The toy he had been eyeing in Walmart for the past month!

Kumera and his cousin playing with all their new toys!

Yay, we got luggage from Wayne's mom! Can not wait to use it! And not just to go on a short trip. I want to really use it... as in travel the globe...let's say to AFRICA maybe!!

Trying out the new snow saucer. Kumera calls it a snow blower!

Playing with his new playdough toys!

Gotta love this stuff! You can even make French Fries!!

Wayne and Kumera playing with the new Colour Changers set! It's pretty cool! It gets pretty wet, so we have a towel handy, but it's sure fun to play with!

Yay for new bath tub toys! Kumera's selection of bath tub toys was pretty useless. I'd been looking for decent bathtub toys for a long time. Finally this Christmas we found some and both Grandmas did too! All he had for the past 2.5 years was one pail and some rubber duckies! That's it! So now he has lots! I think he got about 7 or 8 bathtub gifts! Maybe he'll actually enjoy bathtime now for more than 5 minutes!

Happy New Year everyone!

Follow up to CAFAC conversation

2010-12-08T23:52:00.006-06:00

So, following up to my post from November 30 regarding our age request... it's just as I thought... the answer is NO. To refresh your memory CAFAC was going to find out if we could request a child older than 2 1/2 (30 months), as long as the child is still one year younger than Kumera (so that our age request will stay current throughout the next year). The province said no, we cannot. This is what we were told:

We are obligated to express the age range of your child desired in months, and the months expressed must fit with Kumera’s current age. So you can’t “anticipate” the age of the child at the time of referral, and we can’t say “born after….a certain date.” That’s what we are stuck with.

That royally sucks and makes me angry! So our age preference that appears in our home study is only current for like, a month. We're already willing to abide by the "one year younger" policy, but as time goes by, we're more than willing to accept a child older than 30 months. So for the rest of the year our age request will be outdated. I don't know why the province can't see this!

A few pictures for the season!

2010-12-07T11:37:00.027-06:00

Here's a few pictures from the last couple of weeks...

This was at our annual Cookies with Santa adoption gathering. Last year Kumera wanted nothing to do with Santa and was terrified to sit on his lap. We anticipated the same this year, but it was completely different. He waited anxiously for his turn, then marched right up to Santa and hopped on his lap. It sure took us by surprise.

Our tree is finally up.

Kumera helped decorate this year, something he didn't care about last year.

Decorating done in typical toddler style... all the ornaments clustered into one spot.

He keeps insisiting on hanging all the ornaments on the bottom branches. I move them further up when he's not looking, then a little while later there's a whole bunch at the bottom again. Ah well... at least he's participating this year.

I got all of Kumera's presents wrapped yesterday and put them under the tree. One thing he's getting is a snow saucer. I wrapped it as is, no box, and he thinks it's a big pizza! So funny! So today, when I had someone come over, he said to them "I'm getting a big pizza for Christmas!" and showed her where it was under the tree. She laughed and said "I sure hope it stays good till then!"

The preschool program! Oh yes, the preschool program... something I've been looking forward to for soooo many years. To see my OWN child in a Christmas program. Even though it was extremely short and simple... we loved every minute of it. They only sang about 8 short songs and then had snacks after. It was so cute. Wayne took time off work to come see it too. Then he called me later over lunch and told me how much he loved every minute of it. I think it was just such a huge thrill for us to finally beable to see a child of our own in a Christmas program... and to endure all the embarassing moments of him not cooperating. Twice, Kumera came running to us in the back row and we had to send him back to his seat up front. The second time was right at the end of the program. As he ran back to his seat, the teacher asked the kids to bow. So, just as he was approaching his seat, he took a great big bow. And he was the only child that bowed. Everyone laughed... it was kind of funny that the only child that didn't participate in the last song was the only child that bowed.

They are pictured with all the crafts they made in the last few weeks displayed on the wall.

Kumera posing in front of the Christmas tree in his classroom.

This is the only program he'll be in this year, which is kind of disappointing for us. Our church is so tiny that there's no Sunday School class for him yet. Normally our church would start Sunday School at age 3, but he's the only 3 year old. So, we have to wait until a couple of the younger kids are old enough to join Sunday School. Hopefully next year. The other option was for him to join the 5-8 year olds, which I couldn't see working really well. Until just a few years ago, we attended a much larger church where there would have been lots, and lots of kids his age. So, I'm kind of missing that church right now. There's advantages and disadvantages to each church and now we feel like we kind of have to stay here because we're the custodians here. Oh well, he will be in a Sunday School program eventually.

A little bit sad today

2010-12-02T13:22:00.013-06:00

I've had a few tears today because I'm a little bit sad as I found out that a good friend of mine is moving away. She and her family are moving to Saskatchewan. This is one of the immigrant families we've become good friends with. We've known them for 4 years, and in recent months when her and I began working together we grew closer than ever. She has shared so much with me about her life in Africa, why they came to Canada, and their difficulties in adjusting to Canadian life. We've laughed together and we've cried together. And now she's leaving. She confided in me recently about a bad situation she was experiencing and what she wanted to do about it. Without going into too much detail to protect her privacy, all I can say is that it was a very complex situation and she wasn't sure what direction she wanted to go with it. I told her I saw for myself what was happening to her and how unfairly she was being treated and I would fully support her and stand up for her. She cried when I told her this. When I spoke with her today she asked me again if I would still stand up for her even though she's leaving the situation. I told her absolutely I would, and once again tears welled up in her eyes and she gave me a big hug. She has become a good friend and I'm really going to miss her and her family. I wish them all the best with their new life in Saskatchewan and hopefully one day we can go visit them there.

But on a happier note, I'm excited about some online shopping that I did this week. www.amharickids.com had a great deal this week for FREE SHIPPING on orders of $60.00 or more within the U.S. This website has some great stuff for Ethiopian adoptive families. I visit this website frequently and have wanted to order stuff from there for so long, but thought the shipping costs were just too much. So, I had to take advantage of this deal this week! I'm having my order shipped to a parcel service just across the border where I can pick it up. We live only about 15 minutes from the border so that works out great! I'll post pictures when I get my stuff!

Talking with CAFAC

2010-11-30T09:09:00.012-06:00

So, I had a little talk with CAFAC yesterday. It's just about time to update our homestudy again and I had a few quetions for them. Last year we got our update info in November and now November has come and gone and we still hadn't gotten anything in the mail about updating. So, that was one reason I got on the phone.

Manitoba requires that our homestudy gets updated annually, and Ethiopia requires that our entire dossier gets updated every 2 years. In the past no one ever had to do the 2 year update for Ethiopia because it never took that long to get a referal. But things are taking so much longer now, so a lot of families have to update. CAFAC was looking at our file and she says something to the effect of "then you won't have to update that stuff again till 2013". My heart just sank for a moment and I said "I sure hope we don't have to wait THAT long for a referral". She just says "I hope not either". But I would have rather heard her say "Oh no, it will never take that long."

Another reason I wanted to talk to her was about our age request. We can now update our age request to up to 2 1/2 because Kumera is 3 1/2. Manitoba requires that there is at least a one year age difference between Kumera and our next child. I didn't anticipate this would make a big diffence on our wait time for a referral because I figured there's probably lots of families ahead of us asking for this age. But as I was talking with her she say "Let me check the wait list to see what people are requesting." Then she says that most of them are requesting kids under 18 months. REALLY!!! Soooo, if we up our age request to 2 1/2 we could jump ahead of all those families! It could mean a referral sooner after all!! Of course it all depends on what ages of children become available. If all the children that become available are under 18 months then of course they would all still get referrals ahead of us. But if a 2 1/2 year old (girl) becomes available, then we would get that referral before them. She says to me "It might really benefit you to change your request to 2 1/2". This sounds encouraging. I mean, we were planning on doing this regardless, but I didn't expect to hear that it might really benefit us.

Then we got to talking about Manitoba policies and Ethiopian policies. Manitoba requires that a new child coming into the home is at least one year younger than the current child(ren) in the home. Ethiopia requires that there's no more than 40 years between parent and child. Wayne and Kumera are 37 years apart. With the one year Manitoba age gap requirement that leaves us a 2 year window for more children. I have no idea if we'll ever want to adopt more children, but that sure doesn't leave a lot of room if we do. That's one reason we told CAFAC we want to request a child as old as possible. If we would get a child that's very young, that could mean we can never adopt from Ethiopia again. We don't want to close that door if we don't have to. However, there have been numerous families in the past that were more (considerably more) than 40 years older than their Ethiopian adopted children. Ethiopia has been allowing it, but they could decide to start strongly enforcing this policy. Especially now that parents have to appear in court and the judge will see the age of the parents. But even apart from this policy, I've always wanted to adopt older children anyway. That's what's in my heart. So, I'm really, really hoping for a child as old as possible. Every time I tell someone we're hoping for as old as possible, they look at me strange and say "Don't you mean as young as possible?" (Because that's what most people want.) And I say "No, as old as possible." Very few people are understanding about this and say things like "But wouldn't it be better for the child if you adopted them younger?" I don't even get into this because I know I can't make them understand. Bottom line is that older children need families too.

Originally we had stated in our homestudy that we wanted a child born after July 2008 (Kumera was born in July 2007). This would elimate the need to state an age and have that age become outdated. But then Manitoba decided to make a policy that we need to state an exact age (in months). So, last year we had to state up to 18 months and this year we'll change that to up to 30 months. This creates another issue with wanting a child as old as possible. I asked CAFAC if Haregewain knows we would accept a child older than 18 months and we haven't updated our homestudy yet, could she match us with a child older than 18 months. She said no, she has to abide by what Manitoba has approved us for (the age stated in our homestudy). That makes me so frustrated. It's important to us that our children are close in age for one thing. And another thing is if the child is younger than we're hoping for it could mean that we can never adopt from Ethiopia again. I told her that we would accept a child pretty much any age ... adopting an older child is not an issue for us. So, why wouldn't we be able to state that we'd accept a child up to age 7 or 8, let's say, as long as the child is one year younger than our son. This would keep our age reguest current, we wouldn't have to update it every year plus we'd be more likely to get an age we're hoping for. Either that or just let us request a child born after July 2008. She understood our point and she said it would make a lot of sense for our family, especially if we want to consider adopting again in the future. She was going to talk to Roberta and see if they could talk to the province. I was very shocked to hear her say this, and I really doubt the province is going to make an exception for us, but she said it wouldn't hurt to ask. So, we'll see where this goes.

Wayne thinks I'm giving all of this way too much thought. He would never have thought of all these details. But I can't help it, I think through every possible scenario and want to have as much control over family planning as we can.

2010-11-17T15:30:00.005-06:00

We had our first snowfall of the season today. It was just a light sprinkling. Here's a conversation Kumera and I had today when playing outside in the fresh snow:

Me: "Do you like the snow?"

Kumera: "Yeah."

Me: "Who made the snow?"

Kumera: "Who made the snow?"

Me: "Jesus made the snow."

Kumera: "Jesus? "

Me: "Yes, Jesus. Where does Jesus live?"

Kumera: "At church."

Me: "Jesus lives in heaven."

Kumera: "Jesus loves me!"

Me: "Yes, Jesus loves Kumera. Who else does Jesus love?"

Kumera: "Azmera." (One of his little friends)

Me: "Yes, who else does Jesus love?"

Kumera: "Stan." (The guy who runs the gas station next to our house.)

Me: "Who else does Jesus love?"

Kumera: "Thomas the Train!"

Gotta love the way a child thinks!

20 Months along

2010-11-10T13:14:00.004-06:00

My ticker shows that we're 20 months along in the referral wait. According to CAFAC's Ethiopia update there was only 1 referral in October... sigh. The update stated that the issuance of visas had been under review and that is now over, so they want to now focus on court applications and referrals. It sounds like next month there should be more referrals coming! Yay! Let's hope for lots!

Now there are 78 families ahead of us on the wait list with a total of 150 families waiting.

Another piece of news was that the Ethiopian Court has decided that adoptive families can come to court on the first court date if they so wish (as opposed to appearing at the second court hearing). The child's case would be heard in the morning and the adoptive family's case would be heard in the afternoon. This is good news because this may shorten the length of time between the referral and bringing the child home (hopefully).

I hope and pray for all the families having to appear in court, that your adoptions go smoothly and that you can bring your children home really soon.

Hey, I know these people!!

2010-11-03T16:43:00.019-05:00

Today when I picked up the mail I recieved a publication that I receive monthly from MCC. This month they included a Christmas catalogue where you can give donations to help the needy around the world. This is the Christmas catalogue booklet that I received today.

I was browsing through the booklet, not expecting to see anyone I know, when I came to this page:

I know these people!!! The people and story shown here are people from our community. These are people we've become good friends with by volunteering in our newcomer program in our community. The two on the left are from Sudan and they are welcoming Amal (featured in the story) and her family at the airport. (Click on the photo to enlarge and read the story.) I had no idea that what our community has been doing was being featured as a way to give in a Christmas giving booklet like this. That's pretty cool! It makes me a little bit proud of our community.

Hosting the African Children's Choir

2010-10-27T20:00:00.048-05:00

So, we hosted the African Children's Choir for three nights, from October 24-27. We had such an awesome time with them! We had Emmason and Frank and also a chaperone, Uncle Ryan. These kids are just so sweet. They have incredibly good manners and they are so respectful and also very loving and affectionate. We got hugs at least 3 times a day! How can you not fall in love with these kids?

Emmason

Frank

Kumera also got very attached to these boys. I thought he would enjoy having them around, but I didn't expect him to get quite as attached as he did. It was like he adopted them as his brothers! Monday morning I dropped Kumera off at preschool, then dropped off the boys and the chaperone at the church for their school. When I picked up Kumera at noon, the very first thing he said to me was "Where are the African Children's Choir?". I told him they were at school. He said "Are we going to get them?". I told him no, not yet, Daddy will bring them home at supper time. Then Kumera burst into tears, because he wanted to be with them now, not later.

Me and the boys pictured outside their tour bus.

The boys inside their tour bus.

They loved playing with Kumera's Thomas Train set. Every spare moment they had, they would play with it.

They were also facinated with this toy phone. Every time it would ring, they would rush to answer it and get frustrated when there wasn't a real person there. It was so cute.

We showed them pictures from our trip to Uganda and the African Children's Choir facilities. They recognized many of the pictures, which felt special for me. It made Africa feel closer to me.

They loved playing bingo!

Kumera loved getting piggy back rides from his "big brothers"!

Us and our boys!

Kumera and his "big brothers"!

Can't you just see the love in Kumera's eyes!

When the boys would be in the basement getting ready and we'd be upstairs, Kumera would sit at the top of the stairs just waiting anxiously for them to come up. Every few minutes he would shout down to them "African Children's Choir, are you coming?" It was so cute! (He had trouble remembering their names, so he would just call them African Children's Choir. By the end of their stay he was finally calling them by name.) During the day while they were away, he'd watch out the window and ask periodically "Are the African Children's Choir coming? Are they coming with Daddy? Are they coming for supper?" It warmed my heart to see how attached he grew to them.

Wayne and the chaperone with the boys.

More train time!

These boys are sooo ready for winter! They asked daily if we'd be getting snow today. They can't wait to see snow for the first time! I asked them what they thought snow would be like. They thought it would be warm like a blanket! But they also knew they would have to wear warm jackets and gloves to play in the snow. Funny! Part of me wished we would've gotten snow while they were here, just so I could've seen their reaction! There was snow in the forecast, but we didn't get any. They looked out the window regularly and watched the rain and said a few times "I think it snowing now!" and I would look out and had to disappoint them by saying "No, sorry, it's still just rain".

Story time was also a big hit! I read them Thomas the Train stories, which made playing with the train set even more fun!

This is the third time we've hosted the African Children's Choir, and every time has been very special for me. I have a special place in my heart for this organization and these kids. I get very attached to these kids and every time we have to say goodbye, I have tears. Somehow this organization feels like family to me and when we host the kids, they feel like my kids.

The first time we hosted, I became so attached to the kids that I cried for weeks after they left. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt like a parent. I had never, ever felt anything like that before and I didn't even know how comprehend it or explain it. I had always just felt like an aunt or a neighbor or a babysitter... but never, ever like a parent. When those children left, I literally felt like I had lost my children... my children. I fought the feeling for weeks, and tried to get over it, but I couldn't. It wouldn't go away. I thought I was going crazy. I questioned why was I feeling this way. These weren't even my kids! Then it suddenly became clear to me that God had his hand in this and that he brought these children to us for a reason... to show us that we were capable of accepting African children as our own... something I had been fighting with. And still I argued with God. I tried to tell myself that I couldn't adopt just any child... I wanted these children... these children that had been in my home... these children that I took care of and loved. I was now attached to these children and couldn't imagine feeling this kind of love for any other child. I still didn't know what to do with these feelings I was having... feeling like I was a parent to these kids, even though they weren't my kids. I wondered to myself Is this what being a parent really feels like? I didn't know, I had never been a parent. (Now that I am a parent I look back on that time, and yes the feelings were exactly the same. The way you feel when you would do anything for your child because you love them so much. You love them so much it hurts.) Then God made me realize that those feelings I was having, was exactly the kind of heart that I needed to have in order to adopt. These feelings were right. He had me exactly where He wanted me.

He showed us where we needed to go to find a family... our family... in Africa. And I realized that we weren't supposed to resist anymore. We were supposed to stop looking for reasons to not adopt from Africa (which I had been doing) and simply do as God was leading us and not ask any questions. We were supposed to adopt children from Africa. Nothing in my life was ever as clear as it was at that moment.

That is why we gave Kumera the middle name Joseph. Joseph was one of the first boys we hosted and who is now our sponsor child. I can't imagine what our life would be like if we hadn't hosted that very first time. And it was a coincidence that we even got to host. When we called and asked to host, we were told that the kids all had host families assigned and no more homes were needed. I was crushed, because I had wanted so badly to do this for years. Exactly 15 minutes after that phone call, she called back and said someone cancelled and we could host 2 boys if we wanted too! I couldn't believe it. It was the first sign that God was at work in this.

That is why this organization has a special place in my heart. God is at work in this organization in bigger ways than anyone can ever imagine. When we have these kids in our home, I can't help but stare at their beauty and see them as 'my children'. It's strange, I know, but it's a feeling I can't help. It's just there. I don't feel this way with all African children, but I sure do with these children. I believe God has placed this upon my heart, and I believe God has more in store for us and this organization, but I don't know what or when or how.

I want to share another story. A few months after we hosted Joseph we became his sponsor. I was beyond thrilled that I had my child back! I thought I would never hear from him again, so becoming his sponsor brought joy I couldn't even explain. I began praying for him regularly and prayed that he would follow God's plan for his life and that he would live for Jesus. I told him in every letter that we hoped he would live his life for Christ and that he would share the gospel with others. In my heart I hoped he would maybe one day lead someone to Christ. That's a very hard thing to do for many Christians. Well, just last week we got a letter from Joseph ... he told us that he shared the gospel with a boy who didn't want to believe. He said it had been very hard, but in the end the boy accepted Christ as his Saviour! Wow!! I was overwhelmed with joy... it brought me to tears! The very thing I hoped and prayed for has come true! Once again... God at work!

The African Children's Choir has changed our life. A lot of people love seeing them perform, but once they leave town they soon forget. I don't. This organization means the world to me and we will always support it. God is at work here. If you're ever looking for an organization to sponsor a child, this would be a good place to start. I've seen for myself what great things they are doing for these children...and what great things these children are doing for the world!

Kumera has found some new big brothers!

2010-10-26T09:37:00.006-05:00

Kumera has found himself some new big brothers! These are the boys we're billeting from the African Children's Choir. Their names are Frank and Emmason, and Kumera is absolutely thrilled about having them here. It's like a brotherly bond has instantly formed between them, and they love each other so much. I love watching them interact with each other... it makes me so happy, but it also makes me so much more anxious for our second adoption to happen.

The boys are here until tomorrow. It's been great having them here. I'll post more about their stay after they leave.

Learned something new

2010-10-21T15:35:00.010-05:00

A magazine article which I read recently was about questions commonly asked by young children. One of the questions and answers was as follows:

Why do some people have dark skin while others have light skin?

What to tell your kid: A person's skin color is determined by the amount and type of pigment (called melanin) in the skin, says Dr. Eichenfield. Darker skin, which contains more melanin, helps in sunny places because it's less likely to burn and become cancerous - so people whose ancestors come from warmer regions, like Africa or Southeast Asia, tend to have darker coloring.

I found this interesting because while we were in Ethiopia on the day we picked up Kumera, I clearly remember asking about skin care for darker skin. We were told that dark skinned people were just as likely to burn as light skinned people, so we should most definitely use sun screen on our baby every time we went out. Since then we have not used sun screen very often, and Kumera has never burned. So, which is true? I thought maybe Kumera just happened to have skin that didn't burn easily (like mine). But maybe it's true that most dark skinned people don't burn easily, like the article says.

Also mentioned in the article was this:

It's harder for dark skin to produce bone-strengthening vitamin D in response to the sun, so people with a dark complexion are especially likely to need a supplement.

This one was new to me too. Has anyone else ever heard this before?

Amazing photography!

2010-10-19T18:48:00.039-05:00

I had a photo session done of Kumera recently. The amazing photographer is a fellow Ethiopia adoptive parent and friend of mine and I love her photography! Take a look... isn't she amazing?! She's Judith Voth... http://www.judithvothphotography.com/

I've had Kumera to photo studios like Walmart and Superstore, but they just can't keep his attention long enough to get a lot of good shots. My last visit to Walmart was rather disappointing. They only got 3 shots of Kumera in 15 minutes, and by that time he was sooooo done! Judith, on the other hand was amazing with Kumera. She took photos for an hour and Kumera hardly noticed she was even taking pictures of him! She just let him do his own thing and she would shadow him. She hardly asked him to pose at all. It was so much fun for all of us!

Sorry, I just couldn't narrow it down to just a few photos, so I posted a bunch. I love them all, and hope you will too!

African Children's Choir!

2010-10-18T18:24:00.017-05:00

We once again had the priviledge of seeing the African Children's Choir this weekend! This is the 36th African Children's Choir. We saw them in Winnipeg and they are coming to our town this weekend and we will be billeting some of the kids in our home! I can hardly wait! This will be the third time we've done this. Billeting these choir kids has always been an awesome experience. The first time we had Joseph and Martie from choir 25 and the second time we had Jane, Washo and chaperone Auntie Jenny from choir 30. We'll never forget those kids (and Auntie Jenny too) and the impact they made on our lives. Their cheerfulness, good manners and love for the Lord just permeates our whole household.

This choir only has 13 kids, as opposed to the usual 25 or 26. The choir was supposed to have 26 kids, 13 from Uganda and 13 from Kenya, but the Kenyan kids apparently can't get out their country. They began their tour in August and they Kenyan kids are still waiting to join the tour. It must be devastating for them to be told they can't go after anticipating this tour for so long. I hope for their sake they'll be able to join the tour soon, because the kids have so much fun on the tour and they get to experience so much that otherwise they'd never be able to do.

So anybody that lives around here, please come out to see them on the 24th! (email me if you want more info) Especially if you've never seen them before and especially if you have kids! It's a great experience for your children! Kumera has seen a number of these concerts before and often had a hard time sitting through them at his age. But this time, he sat through the whole thing and really got in to the music and was even clapping to the beat! I was so proud of him!

This was during the pastoral prayer. Kumera folded his hands and kept his eyes shut for the whole prayer! I thought it was sooo adorable I just had to take a picture! Because at home he never keeps his eyes shut for a whole prayer. (Probably because I'm always opening my eyes to see if he has his closed!)

Stay tuned, I'll share more pictures after we've billeted them! I'm also on the committee for planning the event this time, and I'll be helping with serving them a hot supper at church on the day that they arrive! Should be lots of fun!

Experimenting with Smilebox

2010-10-10T23:18:00.005-05:00

This is my first shot at making a scrapbook with Smilebox. This is fun... I might just do more of this!

Create your own scrapbook

2 Years and Counting

2010-10-08T09:09:00.010-05:00

My ticker at the top of my blog says it's been two years since we started our second adoption. When we started this adoption, we tried to figure out how long this adoption would take. We figured on the high side and thought about 3 years. I think we'll be wrong about that. We're now thinking more like 4 years. We're only about halfway down the wait list, so if we wait another year and a half till we get a referral, and then another half a year until we bring the child home, that's two more years. But that's thinking very optimistically. The wait time from referral till travel has increased substantially, so we should probably figure on more like a year from referral till bringing the child home. We got the Ethiopia update this week and there was only one referral this month. Now there's 82 families ahead of us.

Yesterday, I had a very fascinating evening at work. I have to say I'm loving my job now, compared to what I used to do. I used to be in the front office and it was very stressful work, and my exposure to new people was very limited. Now, I'm in the back and I get to meet new people all the time. There are several shifts of employees and I'm always working different hours and different days, so I'm working with different people all the time. (As a casual worker, I get to chose my own hours. I LOVE THAT!)

Yesterday, I was sitting at a table with 3 other employees and we represented 4 different countries. There was a Sudanese, a Palestinian, a Filipino and me, a Canadian. The majority of the employees are white Canadians, but there are a number of immigrants that have been hired lately. While many employees keep their distance from immigrants who don't know English, I tend to be drawn to them. The language barrier can be a challenge, yes, but once you can get past that and learn to communicate with them, it can be very fascinating. Two of them know English fairly well, but one is still very new to Canada and is still struggling with the English. So one was able to translate for us.

I can learn so much from these immigrants who have so much to give. They come here with a wealth of knowledge, skills and life experiences. Sadly, they are often overlooked and taken forgranted. In the short time we talked, I learned so much from them. We don't always get the chance to talk at work, but yesterday we talked about everything under the sun. They shared their experiences in their homeland and why they had to leave their country. We talked about racial issues and the racism they experienced when they came to Canada. We talked about religion (they are Muslim, I am Christian). We talked about politics and history of their cultures. We talked about 9/11 and what that has meant for Muslims... how they've had to deal with people being afraid of them because they are Muslim, when even they themselves also hate what happened on that day. Then we even compared skin colours. We all place our arms on the table side by side and it was a lovely array of colours, each one of us having a different shade. I just love how all the cultural barriers came tumbling down.

What broke my heart was hearing how people disrespected them when they arrived in Canada. Their kids have had it the most difficult. It was hard enough for them to leave their homeland and adjust to a new country, culture and language. But then when they were not accepted and had no friends, that made it especially hard. They told me about how their kids would come home from school everyday with tears in their eyes and tell of a new incident. As she was telling me this, she looked at me and said "Don't be surprised when one day Kumera comes home and has a different story to tell every day." I sure hope he doesn't have to go through what they have.

One particular story went something like this: Her Sudanese daughter was sitting alone one day and a white Canadian girl and her friends came along and sat down beside her. The white girl didn't say anything to the Sudanese girl, but just spoke to her own friends and said "I like white shirts, and blue shirts, and red shirts, and green shirts ... but I HATE black shirts." Then she looked over at the Sudanese girl and said "And I HATE black skin!" I was shocked to hear this. And this wasn't nearly the only story she shared. Obviously racism is not a thing of the past, like we want to believe. She wished the schools had more education on multi-culturalism and immigration. She felt Canadian kids need to be taught how to respect newcomers to Canada. And I agree. We don't need to change our culture, traditions and Christian practices to suit theirs (like many people think and fear), and they don't expect this. They just want respect and friendship.

African Photo of the Day

2010-10-06T11:26:00.002-05:00

A clothing store in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

Referralversary

2010-10-03T17:21:00.006-05:00

On this day, three years ago, we saw our son's face for the very first time! I can't believe it's been three years already. For a split second I thought I had typed wrong, and that it was only two years ago. But no, it's really three years ago already. But the two years leading up to that day were THE slowest two years of my life! Since then, time has flown by and has never been the same.

October 3, 2007 is one day I will NEVER forget. I was at work when I got the call. My boss knew our plans to adopt and that we should be getting a referral call soon. Earlier that week, I thought that I would probably want to take the rest of the day off work when I got the call. So, I thought maybe I should let my boss know my plan for that day. So, around 9am I went to talk to my boss and told him that when that call comes, I'll be taking the rest of the day off. He said sure, no problem, just let me know on that day before you go home he said. Well, wouldn't you know it, half an hour later, at 9:30am I got THE call!! I just about fell over!

I tried to contain myself without letting my coworkers know. (Our adoption plan was still a secret to most people.) I quickly ran over to my bosses office to let him know I got the call, and that I was heading home. His door was closed, so I couldn't talk to him, darn! So, I ran back to my desk, and fired off a quick email to him. I've never typed an email so fast in my life. Then I quickly whispered, very excitedly, to my two closest coworker friends, who knew about our adoption "We got the call!!!" and turned to leave without saying another word. They shrieked then and clamped their hands over their mouths. And as I was walking out they said "You're coming back tomorrow, right?" They wanted details, but they would have to wait. Another coworker who noticed I was leaving asked if I was sick and with a big smile I said "Nope, I've never felt better in my life!!!" and with that I left.

Deborah from CAFAC didn't give me any details over the phone. She just asked if I wanted to know now, or if I wanted to go home and check my email. Since we had been keeping it a secret, I didn't want to find out details about our child at work, so I told her I'd go home immediately to see the email. That drive home felt like the longest drive of my life. Normally, it's a 10 minute drive, but I'm pretty sure I was speeding. Ever heard the term "Driving under the influence of a referral"? Well, that was me. DO NOT get in the way of an adoptive parent-to-be driving home to find out who their child is. One thing I clearly remember is the song playing on my CD player. It was "Oh Happy Day" by the African Children's Choir. How fitting!! I'll never forget that.

I had called Wayne before I left work and told him we got the call, so we got home about the same time. We opened the email and saw the picture of our beautiful son. The one that's on the right side of my blog. His photo was the first thing we saw before we even knew if he was a boy or a girl. I remember shouting "It's a boy!!" then I said "Oh, wait, maybe I should read the info before I assume the gender." Then we read his info and sure enough he was a boy. I could just see he was a boy.

I won't go into all the details of that day. But the next day, our adoption was no longer to be a secret. Boy, I tell you, it was hard keeping that secret for two years! When I got to work I sent an email to every employee I knew with all the details about our adoption and our new 2.5 month old son to be. There were a lot of very surprised and happy people.

One coworker (the one who asked if I was sick) knew that I had been keeping as secret of some sort, because I had saved my holidays for a "trip" of some sort, and I wasn't telling anyone what kind of trip this was. So, for months he was trying to figure out what my secret was and he even said he was pretty sure he had it figured out. So, the next day I asked him, "So, you think you know what my secret is, huh? You'll never guess in a million years!" He responded with "It's gotta be one of two things. Either you're adopting, or you're going to Africa". My jaw DROPPED!! I was speechless. He was right on both counts! I still have no idea how he figured it out. I guess he knew me well enough to know what I really wanted in life. At least he was a little more surprised when I told him he was right about both.

That was our Referral Day. Anyone who adopts a child, never forgets the details of that day. And that very first photo you see of your child holds something very, very special. A lot of emotion is tied to that photo. We still have Kumera's referral photo displayed. I just can't take it down, because everything changed for us the moment we saw that photo.

Now... when will we have another Referral Day to remember???

African Photo of the Day

2010-10-02T23:28:00.004-05:00

Sorry, I hope this isn't getting old fast. I haven't had much for interesting topics to post about lately, so humor me, I'm having fun with this. I'm sure I won't be posting African photos this frequently for long. Here's your African Photo of the Day:

In Kampala, Uganda

African Photo of the Day

2010-10-01T16:57:00.004-05:00

In Kampala, Uganda

Oh, how I love prairie sunsets!

2010-10-01T10:42:00.004-05:00

One thing I really love about where we live is the gorgeous sunsets we have in fall. They are the most awesome and beautiful in the fall season. Across the street from our house is an open field, so we have a clear view of the sun setting. If we ever move away from here to a place where we can't see the sunsets, that would be one of the things I'd miss the most. Below is what we saw from our front yard last night. Our God is an amazing artist!

African Photo of the Day

2010-09-27T14:01:00.002-05:00

In Addis Ababa, Ethiopia

African Photo of the Day

2010-09-22T10:22:00.005-05:00

I'm going to start something new. Periodically, I'm going to post a random photo from our trip to Africa (way back in 2008). I frequently look at our pictures from our trip with longing to go back. Do any other adoptive families do that? I think about Africa often. I started this blog way after we came home with Kumera, so I never posted about our trip, but I have sometimes just wanted to share pictures from it.

So, once in a while, I'm going to post a photo from our trip. I was going to call it "Ethiopian Photo of the Day", but we were in both Uganda and Ethiopia, so I'll call it "African Photo of the Day". I might post a photo once a week, or twice a week, or once a month... I don't know. Whenever the mood strikes.

Here's my African Photo of the Day:

This was taken in a rural area outside of Kampala, Uganda.

Amazing story!

2010-09-21T09:32:00.009-05:00

I just finished reading this book. Wow, what an amazing story! Normally I don't like reading and it takes me a really long time to get through a book, and sometimes I don't even finish a book. But this story intrigued me. I started and finished it in ONE DAY! I don't thinkg I've ever finished a whole book in one day in my life!!

This is a story about a little orphaned baby boy in China. He was found in a field, badly burned, with 3rd degree burns covering 70% of his body. He was wrapped in burial clothes left to die. Several people looked at him in horror and walked away not wanting to take on the burden of a dying child. It was believed that an accident likely happened in the home, and the family was much too poor to pay for medical expenses, which probably wouldn't save his life anyway, so they left him in a field to die.

Someone decided to pick him up, feed him and take him to authorities. Authorities had no hope for him, because he would need extensive surgeries and his chance of survival was at best 20%.

An American couple living in China decided to take on the burden of this child, and the wife (Author Lisa Bentley) became obsessed with saving this child's life. They did everything they possibly could in China, and then decided to bring him to the US for more extensive surgery. If he would've remained in China he would likely have died.

It was absolutely amazing how everything came together to bring this boy to the US. All expenses were covered by generous donors, including the airline who donated the flight tickets. This child was an unregistered child, which meant it should have taken many, many months before he could get a passport and visa for travelling to the US. But all the necessary people were at the right place at the right time to get this child registered, get a passport, get a visa all in amazing record time. Once people found out the urgency of this child's health situation, people moved fast!

It was clear that God had his hand in this situation, timing everything down to the minute, and placing all the right people at the right places at the right time. This is a book truly filled with miracles.

When Lisa met this baby she wanted to change his name from Danli to Levi. She didn't know why, but she felt very strongly about changing his name. Right before she took him to the US, she found out "Levi" meant "to bind and unite". That's exactly what happened to save this child's life.

Lisa Bentley and her husband John, ended up adopting Levi. They run an organization called http://www.harmonyoutreach.org/

If you go to Youtube and type in "Lisa Bentley Saving Levi" you can find numerous videos of about this story. It's worth watching!

First Day at Preschool!

2010-09-14T10:39:00.026-05:00

Kumera started Preschool this week! He's been pumped about it for the past week and wouldn't stop talking about it. When we first told him about preschool, we tried explaining what it was so he'd understand. And we told him that his cousin David goes there too, but he goes on a different day, so they wouldn't see each other. Well, this past week all he talked about was going to preschool with David. And I kept reminding him that he wouldn't see David. So I was a little concerned how he'd feel when he'd realize David wasn't there. Turns out he was totally fine when he arrived to the big room full of toys. "Who cares if there's no one here I know... THERE ARE TOYS!!"

All ready for Preschool! Doesn't he just look so darn cute and innocent?

Standing in front of the preschool/daycare building.

Welcome to the preschool room!

The first thing the teacher showed him, was where to hang up his jacket. All the hooks were labeled with children's names and I was excited to discover that Kumera and his cousin David are sharing a hook!

Play time!

"Mom, do I have to wear this geeky smock?" (and off it came!)

I stayed for the whole class this time. Since Kumera has hardly ever been away from me, I didn't want to just dump him off and leave, so I hung around for the morning. We'll see how next week goes. He had lots of fun this week, so I think he'll be fine if I leave next week (I hope).

""Mom, I got paint on my hand!" Then he HAD to go wash before he could continue any further.

The other kids enjoys smushing their hands in the paint... but not Kumera.

The master artist at work! First right-handed...

... then left-handed. (Most of the time he's left handed.)

I don't know how many times he placed his "finished" work of art on his shelf. He'd put it there, then he'd take it back and paint some more. He probably did this at least 5 times!

The final touch! At the very end, he decided to put his hand prints on it yet. THEN it was done!

Music and story time. This is the part Kumera struggles with the most. He doesn't like to sit still and listen to a teacher. You can tell he's done very little of this. He'd rather go and play by himself. Hopefully after a few classes, he'll figure out the routine.

This teacher caught him before he could run off again! She got him giggling and listening to the story... for a moment anyway.

Yay, outdoor time! Kumera loved the trikes with those big monster wheels! He had to go for the biggest trike of course. The one with the pedals he could barely reach. But it was a John Deere trike! That takes precedence over anything else!

So now our son's a SCHOOL BOY! Where has our baby gone? The time goes by so fast! (Except when you think about the referral you're waiting for!)

Some pics from our summer

2010-09-10T22:43:00.035-05:00

Today marks 18 months since our dossier arrived in Ethiopia. 18 months waiting for a referral. 18 months waiting to find out who our daughter is and what she looks like. 18 months wondering if she's already born and what kind of a life she's living. 18 months wondering what trauma she'll face when she loses the only family she knows. Yes, I think about our next adoption a lot. But I'm doing ok with the wait. I'm not nearly as anxious as I was the first time. But it's always on my mind. We're thinking of you baby girl!

It's been a while since I've posted any pictures. We had a pretty fun filled August, so here's a glimpse of what we did this August.

The CAFAC BBQ weekend in Minnedosa, MB was fun as usual. Great weather this year! All the years we've gone, the weather has alternated each year. Every other year is good and every other year is bad. So, next year we could be in for bad weather again.

We went to lots of parades this summer. Can you believe it was Kumera's first time seeing a parade this summer?! I realized that this year and thought we just to take him to some parades. He's been in a few parades in previous summers, but that's not as fun as watching it. The biggest hit of all the parades were the fire trucks!! I took videos of the fire trucks and he can't get enough of watching those over and over.

This is the immigrant float. Kumera spotted the Ethiopia flag before we did! We've taught him well...hehe! Yes, that flag represents you baby boy! This float was at all the parades and for one of the parades they had local immigrants sitting on it, and we recognized somone! Our social worker and her Chinese daughter!

We took Kumera on one ride. It had to be a train of course! And since he wouldn't go alone, I had to go too! And yes, I felt a little silly, riding on a kiddy ride! The things we do for our kids!

Kumera's first time on a horse! This was at one of the petting zoos.

Petting a miniature horse is always fun too!

Gospel singer, Lynda Randle performed at one of the festivals. She's been one of our favourite gospel singers for several years. She thought Kumera was adorable and she knew immediately that he was from Ethiopia by his features! She's a very sweet lady and is very commited to the mission of Christ. And she has a good sense of humour ... she likes to joke about chocolate churches and vanilla churches. She expressed her dissappointed in the audiences lack of enthusiasm (as it appeared to her), as she's used to African American churches from the deep south, where they do lots of clapping, singing, shouting, and dancing. So her and her singers did the style of song they would do in their church, in an attemp to get our audience hyped up. It worked for maybe a second or two. Sorry Lynda, we just don't got it in our conservative Mennonite genes. (As much as I wish we did!)

We hadn't had a real holiday in a very long time, so we took off to Fargo, ND for a few days. We had so much fun. The sales were awesome! Above, Wayne and Kumera are pictured at the mall.

Kumera playing with the water fountain at the mall.

Wayne and Kumera at the pool.

This was one excited little boy! Here he's jumping on the bed in excitement!

We bought Kumera a couple of toys to play with at the pool. Here he's playing with his fish net and fish.

This is at the dinosaur playland at the mall. He begged all day to go there, so finally towards the end of the day we spent about an hour there. He was so good throughout the weekend, though all the shopping and everything!

While we were at the playland, a lady approached us and asked if we adopted our son from Ethiopia. (I guess his shirt gave it away... it says "Made in Ethiopia") We said yes, and then she went on to tell us that her daughter adopted 2 kids from Guatemala, and her other daughter adopted a child from Kazakhstan! And the daughter with the kids from Guatemala were there too! So, she came over and talked to us for a while too. One of her kids is pictured above. She's the girl at the top of the slide in the yellow shirt. It's not very often you randomly meet up with international adoptive families in public, so it was fun to sit and share stories with someone who truly understands.

This is at the food court in the mall. Kumera got to pick where to eat this meal. McDonald's, of course! Kumera is giving Daddy a hug for a fun weekend away!

15 Referrals!!!

2010-09-08T11:59:00.005-05:00

We've been busy lately and we haven't been home much, so I just haven't had the time to post lately. But I thought I had to take a few seconds to post about the latest adoption update from CAFAC. There were 15 referrals in August!!! Woohoo that's exciting news!! It's been a long time since we've seen that many referrals in one month. So, now there are 87 families ahead of us on the wait list. Last month I posted that there were 97 families ahead of us. So, yes I know the numbers don't add up. It's because some families whose dossiers arrived in Ethiopia after ours, got referrals before us. It all depends on what their child request was (as in age and gender) and what type of children become available.

Congrats to all the families who have gotten referrals! Let's hope that court dates and visas are issued quickly!

Quick Adoption Update

2010-08-10T00:04:00.014-05:00

Here's just a quick update on where our adoption is at. We hit the 17 month mark for waiting for a referral.

We got the monthly Ethiopia update last week and it wasn't very encouraging. There were no referrals last month. Several months back there was a 3 month spell with no referrals. I hope that's not going to happen again. And according to the "Unmatched List" or waiting list, there are still 97 families ahead of us. In the past 5 months there have been 21 referrals. So, you do the math to figure out how much longer we'll be waiting. I don't want to do the math. It's too depressing. Plus the time from referral till travel has increased since our first adoption. Last time, it was 5 months from our referral till we traveled to pick up our son. Now we're hearing 10-14 months!

Another discouragement that came with the update is that adoption fees are going up! A few months back we got the news that we'll have to make 2 trips to Ethiopia and now the fees are going up (substantially). *Sigh*

However, we did get a very thorough explanation of the reason for the fee increase, which helps a little. It's to help cover childcare costs while our child is in the foster home. Since the length of time from referral till travel has increased so much, the fee increase is needed to cover the cost of caring for our child while in the foster home. Not only that, but inflation has increased and food costs have sky rocketed in Ethiopia in the last year or two. We were shown a list of food cost comparisons. One example is the price of a can of formula. It has increased from about $3.00 per can to about $30.00 per can! That's unbelievable! For people who had a hard time paying for it before, will never be able to afford it now! So, while we feel some financial pain from this inflation, it's probably minor compared to the pain they feel.

There's been a lot of discouraging news with Ethiopian adoptions in the last several months, but we're not giving up. We're sticking with it, because we feel this is what God has led us to do. Nothing was ever more clear to us than when God showed us that International adoption was the plan He had for our family. So, what can we do but leave it in His hands? It's comforting to know that He is still, and will always be in control. But... waiting is still hard.

And further to my last post...

2010-08-06T12:12:00.004-05:00

I want to thank everyone for posting some very interesting comments on my last post. Every adoptive family has their own unique remarks to deal with in public, and at the same time, many are the same. I'm so happy for an adoptive community who understands each other. You just get it! Thank you for that!

After my last post, here's a great article that follows up on that topic. Every adoptive family experiences many of the remarks I mentioned, and this article reinforces that. I particularly loved the very last paragraph, of how this parent describes her love for her children. It brought me to tears.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/yes-i-am-a-real-mother/article1662107/

But even though there are many insenstive and ignorant people around, there are certainly genuine, caring people around too. I don't want to make it sound like every public outing is a negative experience. There are some good moments too. (I just can't think of any right now!)

The best moments we can have in public are when we are able to feel like a normal family. And I don't speak on behalf of my husband and I. I say this for my son's well being. Every child just wants to feel normal, like everyone else.

Did you really say that?

2010-08-04T13:35:00.017-05:00

I've been wanting to post something like this for a while, but I always held back because I wasn't brave enough to do it. But I've been reading similar posts on other adoption blogs and started to think about all the things that have been said to us. I started compiling a list of all the bizarre, rude, insensitive and ignorant comments that we've heard since we first started the adoption process.

Some of the comments were well intentioned (while others were obviously not). And in the beginning when we brought Kumera home, some of the comments didn't bother us too much. But as time goes by, the comments don't change much. You just keep hearing the same things over, and over and over again and it becomes very, very tiresome. And the more you hear them, the more insensitive they seem to become. I try very hard not to be oversensitive, but as my son grows older he will start understanding these comments and he won't have the ability to interpret a well intentioned comment they way we adults do. So, we as parents need to answer questions and comments in a way that is in our son's best interest and not the best interest of the person asking the questions. But we're still learning.

Here goes! Be prepared to be shocked! And just for the record, I didn't just find a generic list of comments frequently heard by adoptive families (because I've seen numerous lists like that). Keep in mind that each of these comments is something that people have actually said to us. And many of them, we've heard over and over again. (Oh, and the comments in brackets are what I would like to respond with ... and sometimes have).

- Now that you’ve adopted, you know you’re going to get pregnant, right? (Because that happens to everybody, right? Wrong!)

- Maybe now you’ll get pregnant, and then you won’t have to adopt again! (Excuse me? Are you saying that adoption is a last resort? Maybe we are choosing adoption over pregnancy!)

- How much did you pay for him? (Umm, buying children is ILLEGAL!)

- But it’s so expensive, isn’t it? (I forget)

- So, you’re buying a kid, huh? (Like I said, buying children is ILLEGAL!)

- Was his mom very young? (Why does that matter to you?)

- How could anyone give him up? (Please don’t make my child feel like he was thrown away.)

- You adopted a boy? I thought they only sold girls! (What? Did you just say “sold”?)

- Do you have any children of your own? (Yes, one!)

- It’s just like having your own, isn’t it? (“Just like” having our own?? We DO have our own!)

- You adopted him so young, so it’s just like he’s your own! (Ummm, he IS our own!)

- You’re adopting again? You must be loaded! (It’s not about the money!)

- Why wouldn’t you adopt from here instead? (Where do I begin?)

- He’s so lucky! (I wouldn’t say that loosing a birth family and loosing one caregiver after another is lucky.)

- You are so good for doing this! (We didn’t do this to get recognition.)

- Are you going to tell him he’s adopted? (What do YOU think?)

-Adopting him as a baby is better than adopting older children anyway. (Tell that to an older child whose been adopted!)

-It will go much faster the second time, right? (Ummm, NO!)

-Are you adopting from the same area again? (Seriously, why do people say always say “area”? We didn’t adopt him from some “area”. It’s called a COUNTRY, people! And the country is Ethiopia, in case you forgot!)

-I don’t mean to worry you, but you know that your child could have AIDS, right? (Oh, really? And you know this how? Oh, and by the way, he was tested for AIDS. Have you been?)

-All babies in Africa are sick or have AIDS. (According to whose stats?)

-Is he yours? Did you adopt him? (And who are you, and how did you get your children? Did you have trouble getting pregnant and …? Oh wait, these questions are none of my business!)

-I assumed that you must have a black husband. (Why are you making assumptions about me?)

-You’re not his real mom. (Pinch me! I think I feel pretty real.)

-Did you have to go out there to get him? (Have to? No. Wanted to? Yes, absolutely! And I would go back in a heartbeat!)

-It would be better for you if you wouldn’t have to go out there and see all the poverty. (Why would that be better for me?)

-I’ve heard that adopted kids are usually troubled kids. (Where did you hear this?)

-His hair is hilarious! How do you take care of that? (Hilarious? Your hair looks pretty goofy too!)

-His hair is so different from normal people’s hair. (Did you just say “normal”???)

-Is he from Haiti? (Not every black child you see after Jan 2010 is an earthquake victim from Haiti!)

-For your second adoption, are you adopting his sister? But if he had siblings, you would adopt them, right? (No, it’s not that simple. We don’t, nor does our agency decide which children are adoptable.)

-If you adopt a boy and a girl that are not real brother and sister they could marry each other! Because there might not be any other black people around for them to marry! (What??? That’s SICK!!! Would your son and daughter marry each other? I didn’t think so! Oh, and by the way, they will be real brother and sister.)

Heartwarming moment!

2010-08-03T00:02:00.008-05:00

Sometimes, when Kumera and I look at books or magazines and see pictures of children, we often pretend who they might be. If the child looks like someone Kumera knows, he says its that child. And usually his ideas are based around features such as skin colour, hair colour, length of hair, gender, age, etc. For example, if he'd see a picture of a black boy and a white boy with dark hair, he'd say it's himself and his cousin, D. Or if he'd see a brown skinned toddler girl, he'd say it's M (a little girl we know from Ethiopia). So, he obviously notices and recognizes gender and skin colour.

Today, we were reading a story book for bedtime and we came to a page with a bunch of children on it. All the children where white, except one who was black. And all the children in the picture were running, except one who was standing with a man (presumably a father... and both father and child were white). I asked him who all the children were and he began pointing to each one giving them a name. He pointed to a boy and said that was David, then pointed to a girl and said that was Gabby, etc. I asked him where Kumera was, expecting him to point to the black boy. But to my surprise, he pointed to the child standing next to the father and said that's Kumera with Daddy!

At that moment I realized what was important to him. He doesn't see himself as black, first and foremost. He sees himself as a child with a family! What can be more important than that?! That warmed my heart. Oh, and did I mention that the child he pointed to was a girl? That obviously didn't matter to him. What mattered most to him was that he was the child with a father.

Happy 3rd Birthday Kumera!

2010-07-26T13:42:00.014-05:00

Well, the weekend is over and all the partying is done! And Kumera was one excited little boy all weekend! He got quite a haul of Thomas Train stuff. Wow, I've never seen so much Thomas stuff in one place before! He's pretty thrilled with all of it! It's almost a little overwhelming! He got everything from engines, to train cars, tracks, tunnels, and track add-ons. Then there was a bunch of other Thomas items such as shirts, pj's a lunch kit, story books, colouring books, and movies! I think we're just about Thomased out! Wayne and I got him a few non-Thomas items, because we knew he'd be getting lots of Thomas stuff from everyone else.

These pictures are from Thursday night when Wayne and I gave him his gifts. We gave him a couple of Thomas items and the rest were non-Thomas items.

This Fire Truck book he had been eyeing in the store for months already and wanted it sooo badly. So finally he got it for his birthday! He was thrilled with it and has been begging everybody to read it to him!

I couldn't resist this shirt! Some think it's humorous and some think it's lame, but Kumera likes it and he says it's his Dad shirt!

We gave him a bat and ball, which he's played with lots already! But when he plays with it, he says he's golfing! He hasn't quite figured out the difference between baseball and golf yet.

This is from Friday night when we had my family over.

A track set from Grandma and Grandpa.

This is from Sunday when Wayne's family came over.

A story book from Auntie Cindy.

Thomas carnival set from Grandma.

Another Thomas cake!

Blowing out the candles!

Kumera and Dad playing with all the new Thomas stuff after everybody went home.

That's a mighty long train!

Arranging everything neatly on his Thomas Train shelf.

On Saturday, we went to the local festival and we met up with a couple of adoptive families, right at the same time by chance! We had planned to meet up with one family, but the other family just happened to be there too! And the two families didn't even really know each other, so that was cool that we all got to chat a bit and they get to know each other. One family has a daughter from China and are waiting for two kids from Ethiopia. The other family has 3 bio kids and just recently came home with their daughter from Ethiopia. We hadn't met her yet, so that was special that we got to see her! She's 14 months old and such a sweetheart! This family brought us a couple of things from Ethiopia which they gave us on Saturday. The outfit above is one of the things they brought us! Isn't it just adorable! It fits him perfectly right now! I wanted to take a better picture, but Kumera just would not pose properly. We'll have to try again another day.

PS: Yes, he got a haircut since the last post! He loves it! The other day at the mall he stopped a total stranger, and while patting his head he said "Hey, look at my new haircut!" It was too cute! The lady just laughed and said "Very nice!"

Kumera's pre-birthday gift

2010-07-21T12:10:00.009-05:00

This is Kumera's pre-birthday gift that we gave him this week. It's a Thomas Train shelf. A few weeks ago Wayne came home with this raw wood shelf unit that they found at the school where he works. A student had made it for a project and they were just going to throw it out. So, Wayne's boss suggested that Wayne take it home for Kumera to put his trains on. What a great idea! So that's what he did. Then we took one of Kumera's Thomas Trains to the paint store and matched up the colors and painted it Thomas Train colours. It was kind of hard to hide from Kumera, so he knew about it all along and knew exactly what it was going to be for. He was pretty pumped about it as he saw us painting each coat and then applying the stickers, and finally applying the clear coat to prevent him from peeling off the stickers.

Here he is testing it out to make sure it meets his needs!

Yep, the blue paint is a good match!

And here is the final product:

Complete with Thomas:

Percy:

James:

Gordon:

and Cranky the Crane:

Just wait till he opens his birthday gifts and discovers all the Thomas Train stuff he's getting to put on this shelf! He'll be so pumped! He's even getting a train table... ssshhh, don't tell him!

I can't believe my baby is turning 3 already tomorrow!

Swimming!

2010-07-12T12:09:00.011-05:00

I love this above shot!

It's been a great summer so far! Weather has been good... way better than last year! I went through Kumera's clothes and I found all these nice shorts outfits from last year, that are now too small on him and which he hardly wore last year because it was cold all summer. That was kind of disappointing, but this summer is making up for it.

We got a free season pool pass this summer and we've been loving it! We've gone to the pool 4 times this past week! Kumera has been having a blast! We got it through the Family Resource Centre. Not sure if they do this every year, but they select a number of families to give season passes to, and we were one of the lucky families chosen! They don't advertise it, because then there would be a long line up of families waiting to get them.

Another big accomplishment around here is potty training! Kumera is finally nearly potty trained!!! We started probably about half a year ago, and now finally he's made some major progress! It's very exciting for me. For the longest time it felt like we were getting no where. And now he's telling me every time he has to go and he hasn't had an accident in several weeks! That's huge for me. I remember when we applied for our second adoption (a year and a half ago), I said there were a few things that I wanted to accomplish with Kumera before we bring a second child home. Some of the major things were: sleeping through the night, going to sleep by himself without being rocked or held and no crying, and being potty trained. At the time, it felt like that would only happen years from now. And now, we're pretty much there! So, I guess now we're really ready for a second child! I can't believe how much he's grown up in the last few months.

He's also learned to (sort of) ride his bike this past week! He had no interest in it this spring, but just last week he wanted to learn. I guess he's seen all the neighborhood kids do it, so it was time for him to learn too. He can turn the pedals a few times, but he doesn't go very far without help yet. We said to him that soon we can all go for a bike ride together and he won't need the bike trailer anymore. Daddy said to him that we'll have to sell it. But then I said to Kumera "Should we sell it or should we keep it for your little sister?" Kumera said "Keep it for little sister". We've never mentioned a little sister to him yet, so I was surprised when he said this. I think it was just something to say (or repeat). I don't think he comprehended what he was saying, but it was cute anyway.

Another ticker

2010-07-06T00:01:00.023-05:00

I've added another ticker to the top of my blog to indicate how long we've been in the adoption process. I get asked constantly how long we've been waiting or how long we've been in the process. If you'd ask me how long we've been in the process I'd say 21 months. But if you'd ask me how long we've been waiting for a referral I'd say 16 months. People have noticed that I've given two different answers to what they think is the same question. They think I'm losing it! (Maybe I already have! I've been through the adoption process, after all!)

People don't understand... they just want one simple number. So then I have to explain to them what they are actually asking me. I have to go through the whole spiel of how long we've been in the process as opposed to how long we've been waiting for a referral.

Then to top that off people assume it will be quicker this time since we've already been through the process before. WRONG!! I tell them it will be longer this time (which, in itself they don't understand at all and requires a complete separate explanation) and that we've already been waiting longer than last time. Then they say "But didn't it take over two years last time?" Well, yes it did from start to finish, but our referral wait was 14 months last time and we're already up to 16 months this time. They don't understand and I have to explain yet further.

People don't realize what they're getting themselves into when they ask a simple question like "How long have you been waiting?". Where do I begin? They want a simple answer with just a simple number. So, what do I tell them if they're not in the mood for a long winded explanation?

So, for those who REALLY want to understand how the wait time works, check out the time lines on the right hand side of my blog. And as for the tickers at the top of my blog...the top ticker indicates how long it's been since we applied with CAFAC. The second ticker indicates how long our dossier has been in Ethiopia and on the waiting list waiting for a child match (referral).